I Wish I Could’ve Loved You

Allef Vinicius

Watch how my eyes move with the movement of your body across the room, the lights shine brighter when you walk from one dark corner to another, I breathe in deeply when you pass by me, is this how magnets feels when they’re joined at the wrong ends?

Who will die first at the end of this movie? Will we both walk on streets, and it’ll look like soon we’ll collide as the corner of the block arrives, but when it’ll fade out, you’ll be in another city, and I’ll be in another hemisphere,

are our lives so sad that we tried so hard to love someone but it all ended too soon?

How can we be wrong when we never wanted to be right in the first place?

Can we just sit and just be next to each other? And you don’t need to talk to me, and I’ll be quiet too, we won’t need to argue, and when the sky turns black, we can go inside and sleep quietly next to each other, that’ll be enough for me,

living a quiet life with you, I won’t say things to hurt you, and you won’t find someone else to love while I’m asleep for days, the years will pass, and maybe one day you’ll forget it all, and I’ll pretend to forget but I’ll remember everything,

maybe you’ll say to me, after years of silence, “you look beautiful today” and I’ll smile, maybe I’ll cry, maybe we can try to go back to how things used to be, or we could build a better life, build a bigger castle, we can invite other people to show how love overcomes everything, won’t you want that?

Our names would always be said together, I’ll remember you until the moment I die, and you’ll hold my hand, and even in our last moments, we can be quiet, you know you always spoke with your eyes and hands,

I hope life is easier than you think it would be, and I hope you find a lover that loves you every day of every week, and they give you the space to be silent, and understand how you speak with your eyes,

how you cry when nothing is wrong but nothing feels right, I hope they don’t try to change you when they find it hard to understand you,

and I hope they don’t leave you just because they don’t know how to hold on to people when, like magnets, they’re joined at the wrong ends,

’cause you know, it’s really love when you hold on despite everything pulling you away from each other, and it becomes your power to stay together.

I wish I could’ve loved you so, I wish I could love you so, but I can’t. TC mark

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