Thought Catalog

This Is What My Tired Eyes Tell You

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João Silas

The bathroom mirror shows me my eyes, they look so tired, so worn out,

I wonder if I can ever take their weariness away,

I wonder if I can try,

I think about my eyes a lot, when I’m brushing my teeth, and when I gargle, but I never take my eyes off the mirror on the wall,

and my eyes, I wonder if they have a language of their own,

some communication I am failing to comprehend, I wonder if they express themselves when I close them in the sun,

I see memories flash on my eyelids, times I have forgotten, I go back to my dark room, even dark in the bright afternoon,

the weather is hot but the surroundings are not, my room is cold, and it’s dark, and I lie on my bed and see stars,

I wonder how old I am next week, I feel like I’ve lived for more years than I have lived according to my mom,

my hands are sometimes too old for what I feel inside, sometimes they’re too young, I wake up and it’s cold,

everyone says it’s summer, but why is it so cold? Where is the sun? I ask my friends, and they tell me on the other side of the earth,

it’s night, the moon is out, and I look outside and the world is dark,

just like my room,

where are the curtains of the world? Blocking out the sun? I wait for the sunrise, I wait for the morning,

it’s been a long time since I’ve been outside, under the sky, a mammoth task for someone like me,

I feel too exposed to the world, my neighbour who wakes up early is staring at me through his window,

I wonder if I look like a ghost, something he can’t believe, the birds are chirping, the sun is going to rise,

I hope it’s not a cloudy day, so that I can sit in the sun and close my eyes, and see you once again in my mind. TC mark

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