Thought Catalog

I Only Want Myself Right Now

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Drew Coffman

Deep in the forest, I wake up, surrounded by noise of life and fire in the distance, maybe it is all in my head, but everything feels more real the more it is not,

I think the bad days are over but this tunnel never ends,

Where are the good days you promised me?

Where is the time you promised me peace?

I’ve fought all the battles you asked me to, I’ve run and hid from all the people you warned me about,

You left me in the universe all alone, and now I’m in a forest on an unknown planet,
Where is your God that you said looked out for all of us?

Was he a figment of your imagination too?
Will this road ever end? With this pain ever end?
Will I ever end? Or will I be forced to live again and again?
As different people living the same routine ruled life,
If I meet you again in another life, would you recognize me?

Will you feel guilt when I look into your eyes?
Is it so easy to forget the hurt you cause other people?
Is it so easy to let them down?
I wonder why it isn’t like that for me.
I am trying to wait patiently,

For the good days I was promised, of the peace I fought for, of the dreams I protected within my tightened fist,

I have been through storms and floated through endless streams of time, I watched our lives in reverse and it was all too pitiful,

I wanted and waited for second chances and you stole them all,
But I loved and loved anyway,
Am I weak, or was I strong?
It doesn’t matter, even if I’m right or wrong,
I know what I want, and I only want myself now. TC mark

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