Turns Out, What I Wanted Was To Be Loved

Jean Gerber

I wake up and it’s morning, but actually it’s night,

I thought I liked to love people, but it turns out I actually wanted to be loved,

This woman wrapped me in her arms and froze me to death,

And this man warmed me up but then left me breathless,

This child hung himself on the swing set I made with my outstretched arms,

I built this bridge on which they all left me behind in their shiny cars,

I thought everything I did was a mistake, until I made a real one,

And I never could turn back to who I had been,

Some turns you turn and you can never turn around ever again,

My life seems like a collection of maps that never lead anywhere,

There are no pretty sceneries to capture in a camera, and even if I could I don’t think I would want to look back all that much,

The sun is rising as I wake up, and the moon is outside my room, the stars are shining or maybe its the headlights of the cars that fly into the night sky,

I wonder if I could travel in one of them one of these days,

I have some friends who left and never returned,

But I loved them still, I loved them with all my heart,

But there were no maps in the world that could take me to see them,

Do you know what that’s like?

Searching for someone who doesn’t exist anymore?

I have spent all my life like that, and even if I tell you this now, all you can give me is pity and not love,

I would take it all but my hands are already full, I have to carry the weight of the world, and it’s only Tuesday morning after all. TC mark

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