When You Don’t Know If You Should Let Him Back In Or Say Goodbye

Yana Lizunkova
Yana Lizunkova

“How do you spend your days?”

You ask me in a quiet whisper.

And I say outloud, maybe for the first time in my life,

“I spend them missing you.”

I’ve never given my heart a chance to speak,

’cause it always spoke so quietly

and the sounds in my life were so deafening.

But even since you came along,

and you laid your ear against my chest

as I held you while we lay in your bed,

You heard its calls and you replied with your own,

Our hearts had a conversion we never knew about.

That’s why mine has been yearning for you,

yearning all these years,

My insides went quiet,

like the sea before a hurricane,

when you went away,

And I started living by counting the days

since you had been gone,

I used to listen to my heart, it was the loudest at night

All it ever said to me was, “How long? How long?”

Don’t look at me with such sad eyes,

When you were away, I already found it so hard to smile,

Now that you’re here, everything’s going to be alright, right?

I know we have changed

and you probably see the world as a bigger place,

But for me, you and me,

within the walls of this house,

within these walls around the house,

within these walls around the town,

are my universe.

You’ve probably danced in rains on roads I’ve never been to,

and you’ve looked at the moon from windows I’ve never broken,

You’ve probably kissed and missed someone else,

But all I’ve done is miss you

when you were away being someone else.

Don’t look at me with such a sad smile,

I’ve already seen that look in so many eyes.

God knows how I’ve been and how I’ve tried to get by,

Should I say welcome back or prepare myself for another goodbye?

You smile and whisper, “Welcome back is alright.”

And I finally smile.

It’s been a while.

It’s been a while. TC mark

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