You’ve been toying with the idea of walking out for weeks or months now. Every day is worse than the day before it, but you’re still unsure. “Is it really that bad?” ask Friends and Family, concerned. And, “How are you going to make money if you quit?” Plus, you still have those unused vacation days. Well, it’s time to throw caution to the wind and give your two weeks notice if at least 7 of the 15 below feature in your day to day:
1. You get job envy. All the time. For anyone else’s job. Whether you’re at the laundromat watching workers fold clothes or saying Hi to a crossing guard, you know that you’d prefer to have anyone else’s job but yours. Right now. Rain or shine. Their grass is greener because yours is dead.
2. You’ve been taking home more office supplies than usual. Because once you quit, how else are you supposed to get pens, highlighters, and legal pads?
3. You find yourself hiding in the bathroom or hallways on other floors of your building during your workday. Because maybe they won’t notice that you’re not there for 15 minutes between 9:45 am and 10:00 am.
4. You’ve started ordering a Screwdriver and a shot of espresso for lunch. Every day. Because the only way to get through a whole workday is with an upper and a downer in your system.
5. You hate Wednesday mornings with an irrational fury. You’ve had to come in here two days in a row now, and this third day seems endless. There’s nothing to look forward to tomorrow except Thursday, which is just more of the same but one day closer to Friday.
6. You’ve started taking home everything in your desk, piece by piece. So you can just skip out of there unhindered when you finally do quit. You’ve already taken home anything personal—photos, paperweights, books, shoes. Your drawers are empty. The only thing left is a baby cactus, which you keep on your desk symbolically.
7. You avoid the break room/kitchen because you’ve started to hate all of your co-workers. All of them. Even your friend-co-workers. There is no joy in Whoville.
8. You schedule things in your calendar with reckless abandon. Because who knows if you’re even going to be here two weeks from now?
9. You’ve started to talk about quitting your job as “getting out of there.” And, you can totally relate to that guy in Shawshank Redemption.
10. You’ve significantly decreased your productivity, hoping that they would just fire you. Somehow, they haven’t fired you yet. You realize you could have been working at this level all along…and further decrease your productivity.
11. Your boss has caught you crying at your desk. And you said it was seasonal allergies. But it’s winter, and you just really, really, really rather be anywhere else but here.
12. You avoid anything that would make you look like a “team player” around the office. Including happy hour with co-workers, the office holiday party, and even conference calls.
13. You’re really sleepy, all the time. You have a string of 6 alarms and a backup plan with your roommate in case you somehow can’t get up…again. And staying up past 9pm is basically impossible. You crash as soon as you get home, with your work clothes on.
14. The only thing you do like is getting put on hold when you place a call because then the hold music turns on and you can zone out for 5…10…even 15 minutes. Sometimes, you even pretend to be on hold just so you can sit there, unmoving.
15. And, the only people who will hang out with you now also hate their jobs. You find yourself doing shots on a Friday night with them and mutually complaining about how much you hate your jobs. But even their job sounds better than yours (See #1). Face it, this is what rock bottom looks like. The only way out is by giving your two weeks notice. Because, somehow miraculously, they still haven’t fired you.