Most people have been heartbroken more than they have experienced true and long lasting love. If you don’t believe me just ask married individuals how many relationships have they had before their nuptials. You will see the truth there. So if it’s inevitable that we go through heart break before finding “the one,” what do we do to bounce back after heart break to keep us on track to locating true and long lasting love? Well here are surprising steps to take to ensure a bounce back into this mystery pool of the hearts.
1. Accept the failure of the relationship.
Accept the failure of the relationship but don’t blame yourself alone for its demise.
Understand that it’s not the end of the universe but rather the end of one path of reality in which you shared with one person. Remember it takes two people to keep a relationship going.
2. Study yourself in relationships.
Learn to analyse your mind, habits and actions. See where and how they contribute to the heartbreaks you get. Even if the person cheated on you, study yourself to see how your mind, habits and actions influenced their actions. Also study how your mind, habits and thoughts contribute to your short term relationship success, so you can consciously replicate those actions in future.
3. Forgive the past and live in the future.
Nobody ever judges your academic achievements based on your grade 3 school report when you graduate from college, so why do that to yourself and life? If you judge your future based on the past, you will end up reliving the past cause of focusing on it. After learning from heartbreak, do yourself a favour and move on.
4. Get back into the dating game.
Take charge of your love life by actively building your social skills and working on your self-confidence. Refine your mate selection skills and improve your abilities to actively approach the people who interest you.
5. Adopt a new mind set and try new things.
Restaurants who serve you food you don’t like won’t change their menu and what they serve just to please you, especially when there are other people who enjoy what they serve. So why expect environments who serve you partners you don’t like to change? Go to new environments and expand yourself with new experiences. Adopt a mind-set that is open to growth and watch your garden get wet and grow.
6. Get a dating coach.
Want to improve your tennis game so you can stop playing squash alone against the wall? Get a coach.
Want to improve your basketball game and take shots? Get a coach.
Want to improve your dating life and get better partners? Get a coach.
Get a dating coach who is not your best friend. Friends make great advisors but not the best dating coaches. Why? In order to not hurt your emotions, they filter the brutal things that they must tell you. E.g.: you suck as a partner. Situations like that don’t make for good coaching, so get someone who is an actual dating coach or is ahead of you in terms of navigating love.
7. Prepare for the next heartbreak.
Expect the best, prepare for the worst but be positive. You can’t predict what will happen but you can influence a lot of it and that is how you prepare. Work on yourself and you will soon find heartbreak not being an issue.
Bouncing back is not always easy but once you do, life is just great as it’s always is. Remember don’t catch a rebound unless you’re playing basketball or you will soon find yourself surprised when the ball bounces out your life.