You Don’t Have To Be Okay With Being Single

Kevin Cortopassi
Kevin Cortopassi

“It feels like I have been single forever, when is it ever going to be my chance.” – Almost every girl ever.

Trust me, I wouldn’t identify as a self-pitying person and even I’ve said that sentence multiple times. And it seems like whenever you do say this, there’s always a peppy little believer around to pipe in with, “You are such an amazing, beautiful girl and your chance is coming soon! I promise.”

Um yeah, okay, can I get that in writing please and thank you? What exactly is your definition of soon? It doesn’t even instill hope in me when it’s Monday and someone says that Friday is “soon”; the week is still long as hell but at least I know that without fail Friday does eventually come. Who’s to say that my shot at love is actually coming “soon”, in fact who’s to say it’s coming at all, ever? But we smile and nod and say “I sure hope so” because at least that’s the truth, we do hope our chance is coming soon.

I don’t hate seeing people in love; in fact I think it’s beautiful when people can find it. And why should we resent them; would we want people to resent our happiness when we do find someone? Probably not. But often times it seems like love is everywhere and it can fill you with a lot of self-doubt and feelings that maybe you don’t even deserve it.

So you turn to the internet; the articles that have titles like, “28 Reasons Why You Don’t Need A Man” and, “16 Ways To Live Single, And Be Happy About It” etc etc.

I confess, I totally subscribe to the content in these articles. These are probably other singles writing about what their experiences are and I can finally say, “Yes!!! Finally someone gets it and isn’t just using empty empathetic phrases!!” I find myself practically high-fiving myself when I read all of these empowering reasons why I don’t need no man! “Number 5: You can do what you want, when you want”…Wow is that ever true, keeping up with your own schedule let alone someone else’s sounds exhausting. And I pick out all of these amazing observations and I tell myself, “Okay, I am fine with being single, thank you internet.”

Well that lasts about 5 minutes. Suddenly I’m off the internet and back scrolling through Instagram and I see a peer and their significant other at a pumpkin patch. And I internally whimper a little. I try to say to myself, “Liv, have you forgotten already?? YOU DON’T NEED NO MAN!” It’s more complicated than that obviously.

I can read self-empowering advice all day every day, but just because I’ve memorized the mantra, “You don’t need a man,” does it mean I truly feel and believe that on the inside? Hell no!

These articles are great. It feels like someone gets it and you’re not alone and there are other people on your side. But reading the words won’t make you truly feel something on the inside, you need to actually actively try to live the life that those articles are encouraging.

Don’t get too down on yourself sunshine, I get it, no matter how empowering the messages around you are, sometimes being single can be downright shitty.

But don’t worry, “You are such an amazing, beautiful girl and your chance is coming soon! I promise”

(How’d I do?? Did that sound about right?) TC mark

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