At first, it comes in waves. Some smaller than others, some more subtle than others, and some strike so bold that they leave you unable to breathe. When a toxic person has a hold of you, they will poison you with nothing but negative words and behaviours.
A toxic person will lead you to believe that you are the darkest shade of grey, as they take every speck of colour left in you.
It doesn’t matter how long you have known them, it doesn’t matter how much you love them. You deserve more than to dim your light for the darkness of someone else. If friendships and relationships are truly meant to be, they will help you to grow, they will help dust you off when you’ve fallen down and the bad days won’t last as long. When you’re in a toxic environment, you’re trapped inside a burning room. You force yourself to believe that there is no way out, this is how it’s supposed to be and, “it’ll get better.”
Nobody ever got better from inhaling smoke.
Some days may seem better than others, the weight isn’t as heavy and your mind isn’t as hectic, you aren’t worrying about which version of them you are going to have to deal with and for once, you aren’t doing everything wrong. But it all gets quiet before the storm hits again. And in times where you can almost see a way out, you have to remind yourself that a person who truly cares for you, a person who truly loves you, would never reflect their worst behaviours onto you, and if someone truly valued your heart, they would never allow you to believe that it is blackened.
A toxic person will feed off of your good energy and give you back the used remains of what once was, but it is up to you to take back what’s rightfully fucking yours.