So, here is a video compilation — probably originally done in digital form, which was then uploaded to the internet — of cats being vacuumed. Random deep question that is not as obvious at it might seem: WHY DO WE WATCH VIDEOS LIKE THIS? Go ahead and watch the kitties, and then we’ll get back to that question.
…Why, why, why? Yes, okay, it is now socially acceptable to watch videos like this, even to watch them in a social or a public context; to watch kitties who enjoy being stroked or rubbed with a vacuum cleaner attachment, in a loving manner.
But why is it okay to watch this stuff? Yes; I watch it, you watch it; people of our age group and general demographic watch it; even older people, such as our parents, may occasionally watch it. My father enjoys cat videos, for instance; he is a fan of cat videos.
But still, the question persists, nagging, pressing, like a splinter in your brain. If you step back from it for a second, it makes no sense; why WATCH CAT VIDEOS ON YOUR iPHONE. Imagine trying to, say, explain this to Benjamin Franklin, discoverer of electricity. Benjamin Franklin being a random historical personage that I just meaninglessly thought of. But imagine trying to explain it to him; or trying to explain it to your great-great-grandfather, if that makes things easier. “Great GRAND-pa, we use elec-TRI-CITY now, to power MACHINES, that then in consequence play CAT VIDEOS.” …See? You can’t do it. You can’t make it work. Because then in your head your Grandad is like: “Wha? Shouldn’t you use that electricity that you speak of to power electrical milking machines, or something useful, such as an electric hoe to weed the garden?” And you can’t say anything back to that. He’s right. This is what we use all our power and technology and computer-whatnot for? For… cat videos.
But maybe the best answer is that there’s no answer to “why.” Perhaps we should just forget the question, and let the video wash over us, like silky waves of pressure rubbing over our imaginary fur, as we lie back, cat-like, staring upwards, and dreaming of nothing… which… cats… hmm… vacuums. What was the question again? Maybe I’ll watch the video again:
…For after all, life is an eternal, unfolding mystery, a mystery as deep and as unfolding as the love of certain household cats for a certain household appliance that was not designed for them, but which they have adapted for their needs, instinctively, irrationally. Yes, perhaps life is a mystery like that. Either that, or I just needed a way to end this goddamn cat-video-essay. Either one. Both are distinct possibilities.