State Names, In Order Of Sexiness

From most sexy to least sexy.

State Names, In Order Of Sexiness

– – – – –

  1. Hawaii*
  2. Florida
  3. Georgia**
  4. Virginia
  5. Texas***
  6. Alabama
  7. Delaware****
  8. Indiana*****
  9. California
  10. Louisiana
  11. Tennessee
  12. Montana
  13. Kansas
  14. Vermont
  15. New York******
  16. Maine
  17. Arizona
  18. Nevada
  19. Colorado
  20. Oklahoma
  21. Nebraska
  22. Washington
  23. Wyoming*******
  24. Alaska********
  25. Minnesota
  26. Mississippi
  27. Maryland
  28. Michigan
  29. Oregon
  30. South Carolina
  31. Utah
  32. Iowa
  33. Pennsylvania
  34. Missouri
  35. South Dakota
  36. Rhode Island
  37. Connecticut
  38. North Dakota
  39. New Hampshire*********
  40. New Mexico
  41. North Carolina
  42. West Virginia
  43. New Jersey
  44. Wisconsin
  45. Kentucky**********
  46. Illinois
  47. Arkansas
  48. Idaho
  49. Massachusetts
  50. Ohio***********

– – – – – 

SCHOLARLY FOOTNOTES

– – – – – 

[1] We’re not going by the sexiness of the states themselves; we’re going by the sexiness of their names. So, if you met someone named “Hawaii,” you’d likely find them more sultry than if you met someone named, say, “New Mexico” — assuming an identical level of attractiveness, good personality-ness, etc…

[2] State names that are also real names in real life seem a little unfair, but whaddya gonna do?

[3] To be fair, you’d have to find either stripper names or the names of cracked-out celebrities to be hot to appreciate most/all of the names on this list.

[4] “Delaware” kept sounding better — and moving further up the list, the longer that I thought about it. What if you met a guy or girl named Delaware? I mean; come on.

[5] “Indiana” unfairly manages to jump about twenty spots solely based on the Harrison Ford/ Dr. Henry Jones, Jr. factor.

[6] …Or maybe it’s just that I’d like to meet someone named “New York.”

[6] “Wyoming” marks the exact point where the names start becoming actively unsexy.

[7] Fairly or unfairly, Sarah Palin is still hurting this state.

[8] I guess in real life, you’d abbreviate some of these, and just call the person, say, “Hampshie” instead of calling them “New Hampshire” all the damn time. Abbreviating also seems like cheating though.

[9] Whoa, these are getting bad.

[10] Just the worst; really, just the worst thing ever. TC mark

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