Top 10 James Bond Theme Songs

10. “You Only Live Twice” — Nancy Sinatra but we’re using the Björk version.

Right, so this song is by Nancy, but we’re going with the Björk remake here, because it’s way better, and I’m definitely not subjecting you to two versions of “You Only Live Twice,” because no one needs to go through that. Also, “You Only Live Twice” is a very dumb double-entendre. Or single-entendre, or whatever it is. So that’s how I feel about that.

Plus — and no doubt you saw this coming — I am totally in love with Björk. All that we’ve really learned from this essay is that I’m in love with almost every celebrity chick. Anyway, I love Eva Green best, but I’d like to move with her to the rocky cliffs of Iceland, where we’d live with Bjork, and we’d all make art out of snow and batteries and flowers and tears and sadness and whatever it is that Björk does all day. That Björk. She’s so crazy. …Anyway; this essay sure is long. Sometimes I come up with ideas for essays that seem like they’ll take five minutes, but then they take five hours like this one did. Anyway. I sure do hope that Skyfall is okay. That is all. Th’ end. Goodnight, everyone. TC mark

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