The Dark Knight Rises Is Evil Pro-Obama Propaganda Or Something

As you may have heard, the new Christopher Nolan Batman movie will be coming out this Friday. It will be a good movie, probably. Or maybe it will suck. It’s hard to say, since no one has really seen it yet, except for professional movie reviewers.

However, this minor fact — no one having seen it yet and such — has not prevented Batman fans from sending death threats to reviewers who didn’t like the movie, which… that’s just fantastic; great, yay. …And so, one fan who didn’t like a negative review of a movie that he hasn’t seen yet boldly went ahead and suggested that the reviewer should be beaten “with a thick rubber hose into a coma.” On the other hand, another more placid fanboy merely suggested that the reviewer should “die in a fire” — which seems more modest, plus you can make that sort of thing look like an accident; so, good thinking, enraged fanboy. Good thinking indeed.


…Another person who has not seen The Dark Knight Rises is Rush Limbaugh. In addition to not having seen it, he also seems to not be sure what the title of the movie is, or whether it has dragons in it or what. These minor gaps in knowledge, however, have not prevented Rush Limbaugh from Dishing Out Some Truth, and Letting Us All Know What the Movie Is Really About. See, it turns out that The Dark Knight Rises is really pro-Obama, pro-liberal propaganda.

And Rush has some very solid evidence that the Dark Knight movie is pro-Obama, that evidence being words. Words that sound like other words:

Have you heard this new movie, the Batman movie, what is it, The Dark Knight Lights Up or whatever the name is. That’s right, Dark Knight RisesLights Up, same thing. Do you know the name of the villain in this movie? Bane. The villain in The Dark Knight Rises is named Bane, B-a-n-e. What is the name of the venture capital firm that Romney ran and around which there’s now this make-believe controversy? Bain. The movie has been in the works for a long time. The release date’s been known, summer 2012 for a long time. Do you think that it is accidental that the name of the really vicious fire-breathing four-eyed whatever-it-is villain in this movie is named Bain?

…That was Rush Limbaugh on his Monday radio show, displaying all the intellectual rigor that the conservative movement has become known for. Bain, B-a-n-e, Rises, Lights Up, whatever, same thing. So there you go. The movie is pro-Obama propaganda, sorry to Lay Some Truth on You like that, America.

But wait, there’s more. “A lot of people are gonna see the movie, and it’s a lot of brain-dead people — entertainment, the pop culture crowd — and they’re gonna hear ‘Bane’ in the movie and they’re gonna associate ‘Bain’,” Limbaugh said, displaying the kind of logical reasoning skills usually reserved for schizophrenics confined to mental asylums. The radio host then continued to speak, combining nouns, verbs, and prepositions in order to form still yet further sentences: “And the thought is that when they start paying attention to the campaign later in the year, and Obama and the Democrats keep talking about Bain, not Bain Capital, but Bain, Romney and Bain, that these people will think back to the Batman movie.”

Rush then went on to make the crucial everything-is-Obama’s-fault final connection. “You may think it’s ridiculous, I’m just telling you this is the kind of stuff the Obama team is lining up,” he said, using his vast inside knowledge of Obama and of movies that he doesn’t really know the titles of, although it’s possible that Limbaugh was displaying the famous “Limbaugh wit” by calling it The Dark Knight Lights Up like that.


So; fascinating stuff. Pro-Obama propaganda! Who knew? Of course, a minor issue with Rush’s theory is that the character “Bane” was created in 1993, slightly before Obama was a thing, which means that the creator would have had to have known 19 years in advance that he was naming something “Bane” in order to help out Obama who didn’t exist yet either. Although since Obama is an embedded Kenyan splinter-cell terrorist who is part of a plan that his parents put into action back in the 1960s, it’s clear that liberals have longstanding evil schemes, because liberals are masterful evil all-powerful plotters who are also totally weak and incompetent and incapable of doing anything right — again, according to Rush Limbaugh.

And also of course, even a cursory viewing of one of the movie’s many trailers or a cursory understanding of who “Batman” is would add more wrinkles to Limbaugh’s theory. Such as the fact that “Bane” is presented as a crazed anti-capitalist terrorist, which makes him… not a good metaphor for Mitt Romney (unless you’re being super deep and making the argument that Romney and his ilk are destroying capitalism by embracing it; whoa, heavy). …Or the fact that Bane already appeared in a movie in 1997, when Mitt Romney was not yet a thing. Or every other fact in existence, like the fact that the movie was written more than a year ago, and was directed, shot, and edited — and thus already existed — long before the Bain Capital scandal began, etc., etc., etc.

But then, also also, of course, of course, understanding any of this would require actual seconds of thought and/or research, valuable seconds Rush Limbaugh does not have to spare, because if he stops yammering for a single second, his brain will flood with oxygen and he will die.

And so anyway, in conclusion, f-ck it. …It’s summertime. It’s hot out; too hot to argue. Let’s all just try to get along. And so, let’s all agree to all agree that The Dark Knight Rises is pro-Obama propaganda that is also the best movie ever or we will beat you into a coma with rubber hoses as you die in a fire. Good times. Ah, summertime. Ah, movie-going. Ah… America. TC mark



More From Thought Catalog

  • Sara

    “….because if he stops yammering for a single second, his brain will flood with oxygen and he will die.” Got a good laugh from this. Great piece.

    • Oliver Miller

      I personally giggled at “displaying the kind of logical reasoning skills usually reserved for schizophrenics confined to mental asylums,” but that’s just me.

  • Jordan Spears (@JordansConcept)

    Yes. When the character Bane was created in the early 90s. They planned way ahead. Rush failed horribly.

    • Asdf

      I would say Rush putted for double-bogey on his course. Relatively speaking, par on his course is well below failing miserably by conventional standards.

  • arihanta

    Rush Limbaugh failed in recognizing a simple phenomenon of homophones, a simple linguistic fact.

  • Kirsten Chen

    Oh Rush…just go away.

    Well done, Oliver. Four stars!

  • FJB

    Great article as usual, though I think you should add an author’s note/at least take out the mentions of dying in fire in light of what happened today in Colorado.

  • http://thoughtcatalog nick

    what bain capital scandal – i didn’t know that one existed+i think rush was wrong ia a right way

    the real story must be left to your imagination
    —- is the dark knight really barack ?

  • chandlerstephen

    I’m still waiting to see that truckload of aspirin he promised to Georgetown. I guess this will make me forget??

  • Sam

    “The radio host then continued to speak, combining nouns, verbs, and prepositions in order to form still yet further sentences:” –I love you, Oliver.

  • James F.

    I seen the movie tonight and it certainly has all the Obama favorite words in it. Hope, change, save, unprecedented ,occupy and some others. It really jumps out it is so obvious. Since the Bane character existed years before it is more likely that this movie became a script of opportunity. Heck the evil rich had a part in this movie and there was occupy Wall street. Now I need to see the original script to see if all these are coincidences or a lot of political manipulation. It does happen and it happens both ways. The Archie Bunker show use to have a lot of right leaning messages in it and the Andy Griffin show was more left. Another coincidence was the timing of the Batman movie’s release in the heat of the campaign. Rush may have not been up on the facts but he was on target with the message. You would have to be death, dumb and blind or a liberal to say otherwise.

    • C

      There are so so many problems with this comment. Of note: the Andy Griffith show, and the fact that you cannot be death but you can certainly be dead. Additionally, you did not “seen” the movie.

      And then there’s this issue: is being “death, dumb and blind” mutually exclusive to being a liberal or are those the same thing?

      Oliver, I scrolled down to comment on how funny this article was, but Mr. James F. distracted me. Well written!

      • Elisabeth

        Agreed, C! I was quite distracted by the above comment as well but ya can’t argue with stupid. Such an great piece, Oliver!

  • Here’s Your New Man Of Steel Trailer | Thought Catalog

    […] the world continues to obsess over Batman, it’s worth remembering that there is another superhero out there, one whose costume is […]

blog comments powered by Disqus