Thought Catalog

Times When I Feel Jewish

  • 0
  • When watching in horror as someone pours ketchup on a hot dog.
  • Same deal with corned beef, mayonnaise being applied to it.
  • When discussing the fact that no, “Oliver Andrew Miller” isn’t a very Jewish name.
  • “The reason for that is that I’m a secret Jew.”
  • When saying for the millionth time that no, I haven’t seen Schindler’s List. Didn’t realize that that was a requirement. Does the Holocaust end any differently in that one? No? Okay then.
  • When watching five minutes of The Passion of the Christ.
  • When arguing that Mel Gibson is really anti-Semitic.
  • When having to wait years for audio recordings to prove that Mel Gibson is anti-Semitic.
  • When I sweat too much. Not sure why I associate the two things, but whatever.
  • When explaining that I’ve only been to temple once in my life.
  • When explaining what “lox” is.
  • When explaining that the Holocaust did really happen, and was not made up by the liberal media.
  • When thinking about how ugly yamakas are. Could we have come up with an uglier item of clothing? A worse hat? It seems impossible.
  • Ditto with the corkscrew hair thingies. We truly lack style.
  • When feeling guilty for thinking these things.
  • When I rearrange furniture obsessively.
  • “Did you ever hear the one about the Jewish mother who ran along the beach, shouting, ‘Help, help, my son the doctor is drowning’“? …Long pause. “No, that’s the entire joke. That was the punchline. …Never mind.”
  • “How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? ‘…Oh, don’t worry about the light bulb; I’ll just sit here alone in the dark.'” Pause. “No, that’s the entire joke, agggh.”
  • “It’s called ‘Passover’ because the Angel of Death passed over and killed all of the firstborn. No, it’s actually one of our more upbeat holidays.”
  • “Because we didn’t have time to wait for the bread to rise, hence, Matzoh.”
  • “I love horseradish, actually.”
  • When having sex and realizing that I still feel neurotic.
  • Every time I realize that I hate dancing, can’t dance, and will never be able to dance. It’s like being white but worse than white.
  • Da, da, yeinu. Da, day, yeinu. Da, da, yeinu. Dayeinu, dayeinu!
  • “Miller is my dad’s name. I’m actually Jewish, German, and English. It’s like World War II up in here, ha ha.”
  • When explaining how Orthodox Jews and Israel both suck, suck beyond belief. “It’s cool; I can say that because I’m Jewish.”
  • “Yes, I lived in Washington, D.C. for four years and never went to the Holocaust Museum. Does it have a different ending in the museum? Okay then.”
  • “Sorry, was I supposed to wake up and have a day where I was like, ‘I’m in a sort of Holocaust-y mood today’?”
  • “Can we talk about something else?”
  • “No, I don’t celebrate Hanukkah.”
  • “Because it sucks, that’s why.”
  • When telling the story of all the Hanukkah presents that I ever got.
  • “Socks. I got socks.”
  • “Also I got The Big Book of Jewish Sports Heroes. From my uncle. It was twenty pages long, ha ha. No; but that’s true. That’s how long it really was.”
  • When getting strip-searched in Germany because they thought I was carrying drugs. I was not carrying drugs. The guy who searched me was wearing a miltary-ish uniform and looked very Nazi-lite. I employed one of the only German terms that I knew. “Juden, eh?” I said in a sneering tone as he searched me. I pointed to myself. “Juden.” Later on I felt guilty for doing this.
  • Whenever I feel unreasonably guilty for doing something that probably not guilt-worthy.
  • “I’m Jewish because my mom is Jewish. That’s the law, that’s how they get you.”
  • “No, I never saw Schindler’s List. I have seen Life Is Beautiful though.”
  • “Boy, that movie sucked.”
  • When dating a South African girl for some reason. She was really Aryan-y.
  • “…Christ-killer, ha ha. The Romans actually killed him. But thank you. And then Christians did their best to put all the blame on the Jews, because they needed to suck up to the Romans. But that’s clever. Never heard that one before.”
  • When explaining that I’m not kosher and that I don’t even know what being kosher totally involves. Are dairy products in play? What is the deal with mayonnaise?
  • When I used to go to ska concerts and have to mingle with skinheads.
  • When feeling weird about liking certain Sex Pistols songs — i.e., “Belsen Was A Gas.”
  • When disliking most of my Jewish relatives, and then wondering if I was anti-Semitic.
  • When hanging out with my Jewish relatives who were all doctors.
  • Doctors who would show off their new BMWs to each other.
  • “…The girl version of it is called a Bat Mitzvah. No; I didn’t have one. Because my family isn’t tacky and didn’t give a shit, that’s why. Only my great-grandmother cared, and she died. We were worried we’d have to do it for her sake, but she died. It’s cool. She was re-eaaaally old. So, so old.”
  • When having to hear the Adam Sandler unfunny Hanukkah song again.
  • When explaining that yes, we do sort of control the media.
  • “Yahweh means ‘I AM HE WHO IS.’  …I think. The original name of God was probably ‘Yahu,’ which is dopey. ‘…Yahoo!’ …Yes, I say God’s name aloud. No, we’re not supposed to, I don’t think. Because I don’t believe in God, that’s why.”
  • “…The reason that we started lending money is that we weren’t allowed to enter most other professions in the Middle Ages. Lending money was considered a sin by Christians. But they needed someone to do it. And it was okay for us to do it, because we were Christ-killers, ha ha. So we did it because we weren’t allowed to do anything else.”
  • “And then they would round us up and burn us for being greedy money-lenders, ha ha.”
  • “History sucks.”
  • When explaining that Schmuck actually really means “Testicles.” …I think.
  • When explaining that you can call me “your Jewish friend” if you want, but that it’s not a requirement and is also deeply weird.
  • When explaining that I’ve never read the whole Old Testament. Try reading the Book of Numbers sometime. See how far you get before you kill yourself.
  • When explaining that my kid, should I have one, won’t actually be Jewish unless I marry a Jewish girl. So if I don’t do that, my kid can live a life without a bunch of this weirdness, although I will mock him/her forever for being a goyim. “Can I get you some more mayonnaise for that?” I will say. “I hope it’s okay with you that I killed your savior. …Is that okay?” Thus, my child will be forever confused, isolated, and guilt-ridden, and thus will be an honorary Jew.
  • L’chaim.
  • Shalom. TC mark
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More From Thought Catalog

Times When I Feel Jewish is cataloged in , , ,
  • Naomi

    What do jews have against ketchup and mayonnaise? They are delicious separate, even better mixed together to make that awesome pink sauce! Seriously what do you put on a hotdog? Because mustard is gross and chili isn’t always convenient…

    • Marc

      Mustard. You put mustard on a Hebrew National hot dog. And it’s not “pink sauce,” it’s Russian Dressing.

    • Naomi

      Marc, like I said, mustard is gross. I’m from New England and I’ve gotten plenty of flak from non jews as well for this but thats just how it is.
      I’m aware of Russian Dressing but was under the impression it contained more ingredients. I’m not really sure. Just feels weird describing the “Special Sauce” my grandmother threw together to dip fishsticks in as Russian. Not that any of this is terribly important.

      • not oliver miller.

        your grandma’s special sauce was just mayo and ketchup. marc doesn’t know.

    • https://thoughtcatalog.com/ Oliver Miller

      Ketchup is fine on most things, but on a hot dog it’s super goyim-ish and yucky.

  • Hmm

    There are lists that pretty accurately poke fun at us jews in a humorous way (think Woody Allen). This is not one of them.You should refrain from mocking yourself in this manner. It really wasn’t funny and WILL add substantial stereotypes to our people.

    People may criticize this comment for being “too-uptight” or whatever but it’s the truth.

    • soy

      No, you’re absolutely correct. This article was tasteless, boring and annoying to a fellow Jew and non-Jew.

    • JG

      I completely agree. I’m all for self-deprecating humor, particularly about my Judaism, but most of this list is completely uninformed and not at all funny. I’m not so much offended by this list as I am bored to tears and pretty embarrassed for the author. I’m cool with people who are lapsed Jews and don’t know a ton about the religion, the traditions, the history, etc. — but this guy takes “lapsed” to a whole different level and it’s called “ignorance.”

    • http://loveandchunkybits.tumblr.com MB

      Amen to the previous! Unless this is for fellow Jewish people who share your culture. But its weird bc Christians know more about Judaism, than say, Islam, bc of the Old Testament… so it just seems weird and complaining that despite your heritage, u choose not to participate. And thats fine, nothing wrong with that. I dont know that many Jewish people, and the main people I hear making fun of them are fellow Jewish people.. which makes it hard for me to “get it.” I’m black, btw, and there was a time when Jewish and blacks were bffs… but then they got tired of us or something… eh, so it goes.

      • MLS

        I agree. It just wasn’t funny in the slightest. It’s more like you are ashamed of being jewish than a nice poking-fun kinda piece…a little too far.

    • http://mmmzane.wordpress.com mmmzane

      Really? I thought it was hilarious. But that’s probably because I’m also a neurotic-half-Jew, not-really-Jew, awkward-amount-of-Jewish-Jew. Eh, what would I know.

  • laura

    there are lots of good ways to make fun of jews. this isn’t one. I had such high hopes for this article. it’s not awful by any stretch but it could’ve been amazing and it just wasn’t. some of the points you brought up just weren’t funny or very indicative of judaism.

    • https://thoughtcatalog.com/ Oliver Miller

      I wasn’t trying to make fun of Jews.

      • laura

        what I meant by that was make joking commentary on being jewish. bad word choice, I know.

  • EP

    Yeeeah I love this. I experience all of these far too often, especially because I live in Dallas. You missed the “Oh, I have another friend who’s Jewish. I think you two should date!” remarks.

  • Rebecca

    thanks for summarizing my life. except i actually like hanukkah most of the time because my relatives got me better things than socks. we always had a big party at my grandma’s house because a lot of them didn’t do christmas. my family was cool and didn’t care so i got both. score.

    • uh.

      cool story, bro.

  • soy

    Sorry I needed to come back and reiterate how terrible this was. No one talks about the Holocaust anymore. I’m pissed at TC for even approving this.

    • hrfe

      “No one talks about the Holocaust anymore” …. is that a joke? Literally ever single time I meet someone else who is Jewish, the Holocaust gets mentioned (including frat parties).

    • http://emilyhanssenarent.wordpress.com Emily Hanssen Arent

      didn’t realize the adl is now spending time patrolling though catalog.

  • http://www.neverleavehere.wordpress.com Alexis

    *when admitting I went on a birthright trip
    *when explaining hanukkah is not jew christmas (like its not that important)

  • kc

    Tasteless and completely disrespectful. I don’t even care if you pull the – “well i’m Jewish myself so I can write these things” – false, it’s not okay today and certainly will never be. Especially the Holocaust stuff. Jeez louise what are you thinking?

    I totally agree, I have no CLUE how Thought Catalog even approved this article. Absolutely unreal.

  • CPH

    Thank you to everyone who criticized this piece for being so tasteless. While reading I wondered if other people, especially anyone with self respect, thought this was funny. I’m glad to see that not everyone is self-hating.

    • https://thoughtcatalog.com/ Oliver Miller

      So much kvetching!

  • HMM

    The more i think about it, the more I think this should be pulled. The thought of an entire world thinking that young Jewish people are capable of mocking the Holocaust in this way is downright unacceptable to me.

    If this article is not, in the very least, edited to remove comments relating to making a mockery of serious issues such as museums and their employees who have dedicated their lives to help people remember the 6 million jewish people that were slaughtered, all Jewish and Jewish-run publications will receive this link shortly.

    • https://thoughtcatalog.com/ Oliver Miller

      I wasn’t mocking the Holocaust.

      • Hmm

        “Sorry, was I supposed to wake up and have a day where I was like, ‘I’m in a sort of Holocaust-y mood today’?”

        I’m sure your family would be very proud of that statement, especially the ones that were in the holocaust.

      • https://thoughtcatalog.com/ Oliver Miller

        That’s still not mocking the Holocaust. I’m not sure you have a firm grasp of what “mocking the Holocaust” consists of. My family would be just fine with it, thanks. They read my articles, but thank you for the fake concern.

      • Hmm

        The definition of mock is to treat with contempt or ridicule (Webster). To imply that you haven’t visited the Holocaust museum because you haven’t felt in a ‘Holocaust-y mood’ falls under the definition. You think that everyone that goes to a Holocaust museum wakes up and says to themselves, “I feel really Holocaust-y today?”

        You are downplaying the importance of this event and this museum by using stupid, less-than-clever phrases like Holocausty-mood. Use your fucking brain. How did you expect people to respond…”Oh, that Oliver. What a fun, made up mood he just invented :)”

      • https://thoughtcatalog.com/ Oliver Miller

        You’re devolving from generalized concern to insults and cursing; but you lost me in the first place when you demanded that the article be censored, so. If you wanted to calmly state the reasons why you felt this was offensive, I would have been happy to discuss that, and if you had made a convincing case, I might have even agreed with you, but starting by demanding that something you don’t like be removed from existence is not a good place to… start. Thus you were fated to be ignored from the beginning.

  • OMT

    Author: You misspelled yarmulke (alt spelling: yamaka). Felt the need to point that out. And yarmulke are an important part of an actual practicing Jew’s religion. So there’s that little reason for keeping them around.

    I’d also like to leave the comment on my general distaste for this article, ThoughtCatalog.

    • https://thoughtcatalog.com/ Oliver Miller

      Whoops, fixed.

  • well

    a post written by a barely-jew. no one cares. blahblahblah.

  • AH

    I’m not sure when he was “mocking” the Holocaust. He may have mocked himself, but no mocking of the Holocaust happened here. It’s fair to mock yourself.

    Oliver, bet you didn’t expect this reaction. You are one of the only reasons I keep up with Thought Catalog, and will continue to be, I’m sure. This may not have been your best article, but it surely doesn’t deserve the seething distaste from the above comments. Write on!

    • https://thoughtcatalog.com/ Oliver Miller

      This was not my best article, but agreed with the seething distaste part. Thank you.

  • obituarybirthday

    Oliver,
    What you said about the holocaust was neither offensive or disrespectful. Keep your opinions. It’s honestly upsetting and terribly sad that anyone would think this piece shouldn’t be published.
    You don’t have to be interested in the genocide to be Jewish.
    You don’t have to believe in god to be Jewish.
    You are Jewish by blood and ultimately Jewish if you want to be.
    Everyone needs to calm the fuck down.

    • Yes

      Thanks for this. You articulated how i felt about this article very well. I don’t really understand why everyone is so upset, as it’s pretty clear to me that Oliver was not mocking the Holocaust.

    • RK

      “You don’t have to be interested in the genocide to be Jewish.”

      I find it difficult to understand what kind of Jew would be “interested” in genocide.

    • Abigail

      Coming from a (more conservative than most in this country) Jew: here, here!

  • http://wildchildrenfullofgrace.wordpress.com WildChild

    This WAS funny and your opinion. People need to get over it. You were not mocking the Holocaust. Simmer down, this isn’t the New York Times.

  • G. S.

    I love Jewish humor so much! Especially when it comes from a Jew who knows how to tastefully walk the line of self-deprecating humor.

    This article however, just makes me embarrassed. Between the offensive Holocaust humor (one Holocaust joke illustrating the authors ignorance on the subject, I can ignore; but this guy appears to like poking sticks in the hearts of those of us who actually had family die), the odd “explanations” of Jewish culture that are completely unrelatable, and the rehashing a bunch of over-abused stereotypes for filler, this one was disappoint, TC, major disappoint.

    It doesn’t seem like you guys vetted this article TC, do better next time???

  • Dan

    Uh oh, looks like Mossad psyops is all over this one.

  • Leah Beckhoff

    Parts of it were funny, parts of it were not. However as a member of the tribe, it doesn’t enrage me. At all. Although (it appears) you may not feel a connection to your Jewish roots, the whole self-deprecation bordering on self-hatred shtick is so undeniably, recognizably: JEW! that the sarcasm loses its edge. You don’t just feel Jewish. You are Jewish.
    And besides all that, being PC is dumb anyway. Fuck the haters.

  • beatrice kt

    Aryany? Elaborate Miller..

  • hrfe

    I love all of this. All of it. Except I am technically not Jewish… so then I got said at the end. (3 out of 4 of my grandparents are 100% Jewish, two of them were Holocaust survivors, but that one WASP is the only one that matters….). Explaining this makes me feels Jewish-ish.

    • hrfe

      *sad

      I don’t get all the comment-hate… and it hasn’t been explained whatsoever. This article should definitely not be pulled. This isn’t like the “Slutwalk” article or anything.

      • http://gravatar.com/bobbilurie777 bobbilurie777

        I am wondering why my comments weren’t posted?

  • joo jihyun

    I don’t see a problem with the Holocaust jokes, but perhaps for Jewish people it is a topic that evokes so much emotion that they’ve misconstrued what you wrote. To me what you meant was “being Jewish is not all about the holocaust” but to them it’s like “I don’t care about the Holocaust.”

    • http://bobbiluriereviews.com bobbilurie777

      Joo JIHYUN-there were no Holocaust jokes. There ARE NO Holocaust jokes. Being Jewish IS about the Holocaust. That was implied. Too bad I’m in a worse mood than when I tried to post the below.
      You see: the Holocaust is being DENIED–GERMANY is siding with IRAN, the HOLOCAUST DENIERS because of a poem by a former prize-winning SS–& below is my original post which didn’t go through. I hope this one does.

      I feel Jewish when I read your piece and laughed at (almost) everything you wrote (except the word “Holocaust-y”) but/and have the urge to contact you privately to ask you to PLEASE edit a few things because the Nazis who were following me on Twitter after I posted a “true’ translation of Gunter Grass’s poem which got the Germans to side with Iran: those Nazis (they were from Australia, I tell you): they scared me and I so wished I could edit a few of your statements and that made me feel very Jewish plus I’m aware of the guy who said everything you said was not allowed.
      I do object to the choice of photo on front cover. I would have preferred a photo of you, the author, rather than a stereotypical portrait of what might easily be misinterpreted by an increasingly frightening public who so easily adopt same old same old regarding Jewish stereotypes: I am quite worried.
      P.S. The mayonnaise is a concern; not the ketchup.
      P.P.S. This is the link for the “real” translation of the Gunter Grass poem. It is to cover you because I have to say you almost crossed the line with Holocaust statements but Schindler’s List was ruined by Spielberg’s lack of respect for his audience by overstating things through speeches and postscripts. I don’t blame you for not watching it.
      I will say, to all critics, that the worst thing in the world are the anti-Semitic Jews in the world and, according to my level of anger towards self-hating Jews: you aren’t one of them. Anyone who feels Jewish after five scary minutes of Mel Gibson’s hate film has my vote. I went there at midnight. I escaped with my son. It was so very scary. Here’s the link to the “exact” translation of Gunter Grass poem which led Germany to side with Iran two months ago:

      http://twitdoc.com/upload/lmc44244814/gunter-grass.pdf

      • Dan

        This post is insane. It really is amazing to me how the internet works. Someone posts something on Jews or Israel and INSTANTLY crazy people just appear out of the woodwork. Someone should do their PhD on this.

      • http://bobbiluriereviews.com bobbilurie777

        Dan, I assure you I am not a crazy person…PhD on what? Which parts are insane please?

      • http://bobbiluriereviews.com bobbilurie777

        Please tell me who you are, Dan. “INSTANTLY…our of the woodwork”? I hope you have the courage to say who you are and what gives you the right to imply I am some sort of insect, crawling out of wood…
        Oliver’s piece is really brilliant. Jews rarely come together on anything. (5 Jews/ 6 opinions–but I don’t know who you are or if you even know what I mean)–
        Oliver’s piece is brilliant because while Jews don’t agree on ANYTHING re: Judaism or Israel, he hits the nerve of when we “feel” Jewish as in…there are certain triggers. Right now, for me: you are one of those triggers.
        If you want to write a PhD, I suggest you ask Oliver for permission to use his opening statements because there is a reason why he is getting so many responses…

      • http://bobbiluriereviews.com bobbilurie777

        Woody Allen explains it better, Dan: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DaPBhxXhprg

      • http://bobbiluriereviews.com bobbilurie777

        MB: I assure you: Jews have never gotten tired of blacks.

        MLK: our hero forever.

        This helped me this a.m.

        Michael Jackson‪ – Smile‬ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lv5g39SEHJs

      • Dan

        The idea that a person with as many run on sentences as you have could provide a better translation of Gunter Grass’s poem than the professionals who actually did translate it. Also, that you’re scare of neo-nazis in Australia.

        “I went there at midnight. I escaped with my son. It was so very scary.” Oh spare me. To say nothing of any movie, you weren’t scared. But it sounds like you wanted to be. That is all.

  • http://bobbiluriereviews.com bobbilurie777

    4 hrs. ago–yes. I wrote a long post. Please post it or please tell me why it wasn’t posted.

  • http://bobbiluriereviews.com bobbilurie777

    That wasn’t my translation and I regret to say I do not know who translated it but Gunter Grass was in the SS, he was Hitler youth. The idea that Germany would side with Iran, the country who denies the Holocaust…well, if you don’t see how serious that is…I guess you don’t.

    Yes. I am scared of neo-Nazis in Austrailia–because we’re talking Austrailia-not Iran-yes. I am scared of them–their Tweets to one another all called for “finishing Hitler’s job” and, yes: I find that scary. I also find it scary that you think it odd for me to find it scary.

    Are you kidding me?????? I WAS SCARED….the theater was packed. It was filled with children, and even babies–at midnight. There was a standing ovation–applauding and shouting for 5 minutes straight. I was truly truly truly scared.

    DO NOT TELL ME WHAT I FELT. DO NOT TELL ME I “WANTED” TO BE SCARED-have you seen the film? (that’s the first question–Oliver saw it–ask Oliver)

    The truth is: I love the teachings of Jesus–they are profound–they are identical to the teachings of Rabbi Akiba who said the entire Torah could be summed up by the golden rule–but Mel Gibson’s film did not mention one teaching of Jesus–it was nothing but a brutal depiction of his bodily destruction/ the most anti-Semetic depiction of Jews I have ever witnessed in fake cinema–not close to Nazi records of murdered millions (and not only Jews, as you know–in case you aren’t a Jew–but it doesn’t matter if you are or you aren’t to me).

    You better come up with some better arguments than telling me what I did and did not feel and/ or think….and yes…we were scared…and yes…we did run to our car…what were all those children doing in the audience at midnight watching the most horrifying depiction of violence, believing this was a film about Jesus when it only showed murder NOT ONE SINGLE TEACHING OF JESUS.

  • Katherine

    um, hey guys….

    have any of you fuckers even READ shalom auslander?

    pick it the fuck up, (hope: a tragedy especially) and realize how you can actually use, you know, literary devices and tone and shit to manipulate and get new perspective on an issue. i’m sure the adl just has a fucking field day whenever auslander writes, but guess what he’s brilliant and hilarious and is totally bringing a fresh perspective.

    not to mention an extremely successful novelist.

    that’s kinda what the author here is trying to do: he’s not “making light” of a situation, it’s called satire. christ (irrelevant here i suppose.)

    i’m so sick of everyone with internet access just engaging in ENDLESS semantic and petty debates instead of, you know, picking up some books or better yet, writing their own shit if they think so little of everyone else’s.

    but i’m not jewish so… i guess I’m not allowed to have an opinion.

    S MY D AND L MY C.

    learn to laugh a little, kiddos.

    • Katherine

      also oliver: fuck yeah sarah lawrence. i went there too and let me tell you teaching THOSE people to lighten up is fucking tough. keep keepin it real

      • http://bobbiluriereviews.com bobbilurie777

        yes. exactly. it’s satire. yes. you are allowed to an opinion.

        i’m not part of adl & have read auslander. (barf)

        i have written my own shit and i know how to laugh. (will provide links upon request–don’t want to be called “pushy”(get it?)

        which fucking people need to lighten up?

        (see it’s things like “you fucking people” which really pisses me off–which kind of fucking people are you?)

        and “keeping it real”–what the hell does that mean?

        it’s all real…

        i have no idea what “sarah lawrence’ reference means but it’s a place i’d never belong–see–i don’t even belong to “the club”–that’s why i have to be so cautious because people like auslander and hannah arendt–i arendt gonna end up in a bunk with her/ him–tony kushner either–noam chomsky? no way–george soros?–if i said this about any other group of people–we’d be in trouble here–but not about jews–yeah–we’re all sick of the holocaust–that’s why it’s being denied–most of poland judenrein but still=anti-semetism-go figure–

        yes. it gets monotonous to hear about jewish history

        synopsis of all our holidays:

        “they killed some of us. they didn’t kill all of us. let’s eat”

        but telling jews to have a sense of humor is…well…wouldn’t you say…just maybe THEY DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        Jewish Comedian http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvL4VSgyivw

      • http://www.facebook.com/oliveramiller Oliver Miller

        Which was where I was when I had the highly annoying conversation about the museum. It was with some annoying girl with dreadlocks in the pool room. :/

  • http://bureaucracyforbreakfast.tumblr.com/ Dina

    this is hilarious! I can relate. I panicked yesterday when “The Germans” was trending on Twitter !

    • http://bobbiluriereviews.com bobbilurie777

      I agree, DINA. it is hilarious. bravo, Oliver, for a great piece-plus response: that’s the main thing…

    • hrfe

      I see all these people routing for Germany in the Euro Cup and all I can think is ‘this will not end well’.

      • http://bobbiluriereviews.com bobbilurie777

        All my many rejections for fiction say “We need a better end,” and I say, “me too. But that’s what’s been handed to me.”

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