Here's Your Video of Dogs Freaking Out To Thrash Metal

I hate two things in life: small yappy dogs, and thrash metal; although I wasn’t aware that “thrash metal” was a term for a thing that I hated until about ten minutes ago, when I saw this video. See, apparently “thrash metal” is the term for that Nordic-influenced strain of heavy metal where the lead singer puts the entire microphone into his mouth, say, and then screams at maximum volume. Some people must like this, I guess, but — uh, I dunno. (As a Thought Catalog writer, my musical tastes veer more towards the “Death Cab for Cutie”-style genre… but then, you probably guessed that already.)

Anyway, the above video combines these two horrible things — yappy dogs and thrash metal — thereby creating a sort of perfect storm of awfulness for me. But in a way, the whole combination is so awful that it circles around and becomes great again, if that’s not too profound or incoherent or something. And hey, those yappy dogs in the video like to RAWK …amirite?

On a more personal note, I’d like to ask the following question: who the fuck gets a small yappy dog in the first place? I am currently living with my friend in New Orleans and she has two yappy dogs and I want to kill them.  Kill kill kill them.  …Out of the entire panoply of dogs — which includes gentle fluffy Golden Retrievers and adorable Collies, for example — who the fuck is like, “Screw that, I’m going to go tiny and annoying with it”? I mean, my friend decided this, apparently — but still, it remains an everlasting mystery to me.

…But then, some people also like thrash metal, so there’s no accounting for taste, I guess. And some people like making YouTube videos that mash up puppies and thrash metal, and the mind just boggles. …Although there’s always the possibility that the internet has become autonomous at this point, and is just creating random dog and cat videos to occupy us until the end of days — though according to the internet, the end of days will happen in 2012-ish or so, so there isn’t that much time left, which, whatever, fine. TC mark

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  • Michael Koh

    That is one devil of a picture. Jesus.

  • guest

    I have a tiny annoying dog because HE’S SO CUTE OMG OMG OMG OMG 

    • Guest

      yeah, I ain’t even mad he insulted thrash metal, but why’d you have to go after little dogs???!!

  • Brah

    You sorta ousted yourself as a wanker with your hamfisted insight insight into a genre that you know nothing about.

    • Oliver Miller

      It’s true; I know nothing about thrash metal except that I hate it.

      • Oliver Miller

        By the way, has anyone noticed how my articles alternate insanely
        between serious things about, like, alcoholism and stuff and then videos of
        kittens and puppies?  …Because I’ve sort of noticed


      • anus

        yes, but that’s okay. You can’t be serious all the time/=

    • Oliver Miller

      It’s true; I know nothing about thrash metal except that I hate it.

    • Sally Jenkins

      ousted yourself?

  • federico

    i want one of those hot dog dogs.  they seem pretty mellow

  • Eric

    Thrash metal isn’t even Nordic brah. It’s more of an American  dudeman with puffy Reeboks and a canadian tuxedo drinking warm beer and shouting into a mic at the same time type of thing. These dudes (S.O.D) are from Queens or something and are more crossover thrash than thrash metal.  Those dogs were pissed off though, so good job.

    • Sally Jenkins

      ERIC, do they keep you in a hermetically sealed vault in Switzerland so that once a year you can come out to set everyone straight on what exactly is thrash metal?

      • Anonymous

        just because you don’t like them/don’t listen to them does not mean that these genres do not exist.  ERIC is just helping us out, knowing that we do not neccissarily have the experience to differentiate and educating.  He could have gotten all pissy about it, but took a calm cool approach to teaching us about something we did not know.  Unless that comment was just an excuse to use the word hermetically, then i am totally behind it because that word kicks ass.

      • Eric

        yes under a castle. Tom Warrior from Celtic Frost calls me on the phone sometimes and gives me updates on metal subgenre misunderstandings. It pays pretty well.

  • Xlephier Prime

    this takes the cake as ‘worst-written “article” yet published on TC’

    i’m taking this website out of my RSS reader right now, seriously, fuck you guys, you and kat george are equally the worst writers i have ever read on ANY blog, and this one used to be cool, back in the day


    • Sally Jenkins

      who uses RSS?

  • Andrew Pham

    I like your other writing but this just makes you seem ignorant and simple.

  • Aaron

    Not my preferred style of music either, and I HATE yappy dogs (I’m talking to you, inconsiderate neighbors) but I think the video’s pretty great!

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