I hate two things in life: small yappy dogs, and thrash metal; although I wasn’t aware that “thrash metal” was a term for a thing that I hated until about ten minutes ago, when I saw this video. See, apparently “thrash metal” is the term for that Nordic-influenced strain of heavy metal where the lead singer puts the entire microphone into his mouth, say, and then screams at maximum volume. Some people must like this, I guess, but — uh, I dunno. (As a Thought Catalog writer, my musical tastes veer more towards the “Death Cab for Cutie”-style genre… but then, you probably guessed that already.)

Anyway, the above video combines these two horrible things — yappy dogs and thrash metal — thereby creating a sort of perfect storm of awfulness for me. But in a way, the whole combination is so awful that it circles around and becomes great again, if that’s not too profound or incoherent or something. And hey, those yappy dogs in the video like to RAWK …amirite?

On a more personal note, I’d like to ask the following question: who the fuck gets a small yappy dog in the first place? I am currently living with my friend in New Orleans and she has two yappy dogs and I want to kill them.  Kill kill kill them.  …Out of the entire panoply of dogs — which includes gentle fluffy Golden Retrievers and adorable Collies, for example — who the fuck is like, “Screw that, I’m going to go tiny and annoying with it”? I mean, my friend decided this, apparently — but still, it remains an everlasting mystery to me.

…But then, some people also like thrash metal, so there’s no accounting for taste, I guess. And some people like making YouTube videos that mash up puppies and thrash metal, and the mind just boggles. …Although there’s always the possibility that the internet has become autonomous at this point, and is just creating random dog and cat videos to occupy us until the end of days — though according to the internet, the end of days will happen in 2012-ish or so, so there isn’t that much time left, which, whatever, fine.

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