Justin Bieber Has His Own Brand of Perfume Now

Who says that the world didn’t come to an end, and that the rapture never happened? Yes, the moment that we’ve all been dreading that we didn’t really care about has come to pass — Justin Bieber now has his own brand of perfume.

Yes, yes, yes, “J-Bieb” — which is a totally made-up nickname which I have just invented — has launched his own signature scent. J-Bieb’s perfume is called “Someday,” and it retails for $35. And now, here’s that Justin Bieber perfume commercial that you never ever wanted:

According to this commercial, spraying the Bieb’s perfume on your neck is like being taken for a magical horsey-ride through pink fluffy clouds with matching “Claire’s Boutique”-style heart-shaped lockets. …This is so much like my nightmares that it’s scary. …And on this mystical journey to heaven or something, you’re accompanied by Justin Bieber himself, who giggles and laughs and whispers sweet nuthins into your ear, and also reveals that he’s really into that exact same thing that you’re into, OMG! OMG indeed.

And here is Justin’s explanation for why the world needed a Justin Bieber perfume right now, and simply could not wait one second longer–

“Let’s be real, the way a girl smells is very important to a guy,” Bieber told Women’s Wear Daily. “I have such a deep connection with my fans, so creating a fragrance that I personally love is another way I can bring them closer to my world.”

Oh, Justin, you don’t have to tell us that you’re “being real.” It is automatically assumed that every word that issues from your lips is automatically totes real 4evah.  And thank you for bringing us closer to your world.

…By the way, the smell of the perfume itself is described as being a “fruity gourmand,” which I guess means that it smells like Frank Rich. Or like Anthony Bourdain. Ha! That was an okay joke, right? …Anyway, insert your own jokes here, I don’t know anything else about Justin Bieber except that he’s a thirteen year-old girl or whatever. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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