Here’s That “Osama bin Laden Is Dead” Song That You Never, Ever Wanted

As we all know by now, the assassination of Osama bin Laden has changed everything, in much the same way that 9/11 changed everything. …Although, philosophically and chaos-theory-wise, we could argue that every decision ever made changes everything and impacts everything else in the world, and so my decision to eat a grilled chicken sandwich for dinner last night instead of a cheeseburger also changed everything… forever.

But really, such debates about causality are a game for philosophers and fools. Because after all KILLING OSAMA YEAH WHOOOO, USA, AMIRITE? …But still, how can we truly know that this event was important, until there’s a novelty song released about it? And now, that has happened, thank god.

And so I am proud to present the cleverly-titled single ‘Osama Bin Laden Is Dead,’ which was released by 50 Cent protégé Hot Rod, and which — wait, okay, “Hot Rod” is a viable rap/R&B name now? I could come up with a better name than that in about five seconds. How about “DJ Rappy Rap”; that’s at least about three percent better.

Anyway, here is the non-hit ‘Osama Bin Laden Is Dead,’ released by rapper or whoever Hot Rod for your listening enjoyment. Please to enjoy.

As we can see, the cover for the single depicts Osama bin Laden’s severed head being pierced all the way through by a sword, which is a slightly inaccurate version of the way that he was actually killed, although until Barack Obama releases the actual pictures of the killing, how can we actually know what is the truth and what isn’t? …WHERE ARE THE PHOTOGRAPHS, MR. BARRY SOTERO?!! …Ahem. Sorry about that.

Anyway, as we can also see, Mr. “Hot Rod” spent up to 45 seconds devising his rap-tastic lyrics, and then put them over techno beats from a horrible Euro-style club song, circa 1995. Well done, Hot Rod! Damn; your science is too tight.

O-SAMA BIN LAD-EN.  O-SAMA BIN LAD-EN… IS DEAD.

…WINNING.

[repeat until we all die]

Ha.  See what he did there? “Winning.” Charlie Sheen! Topical-ish.

…Man, though, there’s nothing that says, “Yes, I am laying down a party track” more than a reference to a known multiple-murderer being shot multiple times in the head. Truly, the good times are rolling. …Well, we all knew that the price to pay in the War on Terror would be high. But who knew that it would be this high? Mr. Hot Rod, I now declare you to be the new Public Enemy Number One, and may god have mercy on your soul. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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