I can’t begin to count the amount of times I’ve heard a woman contemplate a relationship with a man younger than themselves. There are some pretty common fears associated with entering into such a situation. Can it last? Will we feel the same way about having children? Am I setting myself up to be cheated on? Am I part of him working out his unresolved mommy issues?
Perhaps it’s the approach to these relationships with which I have a problem. Do you approach other relationships like this? Do you go into all of your relationships looking for a guarantee that the man is there to stay?
Is there not value in relationships that run their course, be it for a few months or a few years? What about decades-long marriages that fall apart?
The same could be said for the question of children. Can you be certain that a man older than you might not want a child by you? By the age of 45-55, men who have adult children may not find themselves categorically opposed to having more babies. Conversely, men without children by the time they’re a certain age might be even more so interested. Do not associate these behaviors with men’s ages, but rather with the individual and how aligned they are with your own desires.
If you believe your age is an issue in this regard, be able to openly discuss it with the man you’re with. More is possible today than ever before and, despite the difficulties, it is not as hopeless as it may seem.
The jury is still out on whether any age group of men is more or less faithful than their counterparts. A man going through a midlife crisis can be just as irrational a creature as a man in his 20s. We know that women are at their prime sexuality at this point in life, comparable to a 25-35 year old man. It’s an important subject to be on the same page about, and it’s even more important that you and your partner are compatible and satisfied.
Do you consider your younger suitor a reason to keep yourself in good shape? If so, be your own motivation and don’t let a man influence your self-esteem. Any man can serve as an excellent motivation for taking care of yourself if you let him. Focus on finding internal motivation and don’t make a man a litmus test for your laziness. If you’re worried about not living up to his expectations, remember that you are a woman with substance, not a show pony.
Psychologically, it’s believed that the relationship between a mature woman and a younger man results works well. She treats him as a wiser and more balanced man than woman his own age might. Girls in their 20s and 30s are often still in the exploratory stage of their lives. They haven’t always learned to take responsibility for their actions and as a result, have a tendency to blame the male species for anything that goes awry. Younger men feel safer around older women as a result, taken under the wing of someone more self-assured and well versed in the world around them.
People will warn you of the downfalls of dating younger men. They’re not as established financially, emotionally, etc., but there’s quite the chance that you can meet a man of any age and say the same.
Cars and jewels don’t mean much if the man behind them isn’t driven and passionate. These qualities in a man won’t die, won’t change even if their job title does.
The bottom line is that a man can be infantile at 50 and mature and responsible at 30. Fall in love with a person, not an age, not an expectation. Remember, “Art is eternal, but life is short.” You don’t know what will happen here any more than you would in any other relationship. If it brings you a moment, a month, a year of happiness, it is worth a shot. Live today and cherish the now.