Dating is challenging for many of us. For people who are looking for a serious relationship, it is frustrating how difficult it is to find someone who is not only honest about who they really are but also connects with us at all levels.
After swiping left and right on many dating apps and going on many dates, we can’t help but feel we’re wasting our time. We put ourselves out there and show our vulnerability, but we still get played because people we meet are not honest about who they really are. Of course, nobody is perfect. However, don’t you think it would save so much of our time and energy (for both parties) if we were allowed to have a magic wand to discuss these sensitive topics on the first couple dates and get very honest and truthful answers? Nobody is right or wrong, because everyone is different. We just look for honest answers to help us make a decision if we are compatible.
These are the seven sensitive topics we should be able to discuss openly, even on the first date.
1. Our availability (physically and emotionally)
How many times have we gone on a first date with someone, thought we finally met the One, then found out later that they were either still married, not over their ex, or still in a messy relationship with someone? For some, it’s painful to get over an almost relationship because we were so hopeful, like it was a fantasy that we finally found what we were looking for. It would save us so much time if we knew ahead of time if that person is really available for us to build a relationship with.
2. Our real goals in dating
A relationship works only if two people have the same expectations. If you only want a casual fling, say so. If you want a serious relationship and marriage, express it. If you do/don’t want kids, be upfront about it. But two people (or more, if that’s what you want) should be in agreement.
3. Our financial situations and habits
Money can’t buy everything. However, it has so much impact on a relationship. When we decide to go on a date and possibly build a relationship with someone, we definitely want to know their financial habits. Just because someone’s financial situation is bad, or the way they spend their money is different from ours, does not necessarily ruin a relationship. But being able to find out early on gives us some idea about whether we’re compatible.
4. Any secret that might ruin a relationship
Nothing breaks our heart more than the past of someone we get involved with shows up and crushes our budding relationship. Again, the past is not necessarily a dealbreaker for some, but it’s beneficial to know just in case it is.
5. Our sexual orientation
We have seen a lot of people who just come out of the closet after so many years of hiding. Of course we don’t want to be surprised.
6. Our addictions or weird habits
Some weird habits are tolerable, while some are harder to accept. For example, we probably agree that we can tolerate someone who needs to use chopsticks to eat at every meal. However, if they need to get high after each meal, that’s another story.
7. Topics that make them uncomfortable
This one is a bonus. It’s a general statement to let you get to know the person even better. If they’re able to be honest with their answers, you will probably get invaluable information about the person you’re on a date with.
Some people might think discussing these topics takes the romance or fun out of courting and dating. That’s probably partially true. However, for those who are looking for a serious relationship and tired of disappointments, the ability to get 100% honest answers is wonderful. It is great to get these tough ones out of the way so we could spend the rest of our lives getting to know our partner at a deeper level and start building our future together.