It’s Okay If You Don’t Have The ‘When You Know, You Just Know’ Moment

Courtney Clayton / Unsplash

We have heard this saying a lot ‘when you know, you just know’ when you finally meet the one you’ve been looking for all your life. Many people talk about how they met their significant other and how they ‘knew’ that’s ‘the One’. However, does everyone have that feeling when they finally meet someone? When can we claim ‘I know’? After we finally get married? or after 40+ years together? And what if some people never have that feeling but able to manage to be in a happy relationship for decades?

Everyone has intuition. Everyone has the gut feeling that tells them what seems right or wrong. Is it the same feeling we get when we finally meet someone we’re destined to be with? What does that feel like? Some people say it’s like a light switch goes off in their head. Some say it’s a magical moment and special sensation going through their body. They just know right away when it happens. Everything just ‘clicks.’

But there are also some people out there who never had that kind of feeling. The light bulb never went off in their heads. The electricity didn’t strike. But they have a significant other and they are happy in a relationship. Does that mean their significant other is not ‘the one’?

Some are still searching and wondering if they will ever reach that moment when they know. It’s definitely both exciting and frustrating.

Some also thought they ‘knew.’ The honeymoon period was going well and they almost thought about the ‘you just know’ feeling. But then out of the blue, the other shoe dropped. There was a very silly fight one day and that was it. What does that mean? They ‘knew’ but they were wrong? And what if the heartbreak lasted for a long time? Does that mean that person was the one but happened to be at the wrong time? What should they do? Hang on to the hope that one day it’ll be the right time and they will just ‘know’?

There is no right or wrong feeling to the ‘when you know’ moment. If you have never had that ‘aha’ moment, it might just be because you have an analytical mind. Some people analyze everything. It can be a bad (or good) habit. They overthink most of the time. Not because they’re paranoid but because they’re realistic and pragmatic. They look at things from a practical point of view. They probably rarely fall for anyone. They are extra cautious at opening up their feelings because they don’t want to be disappointed. Past experiences have a lot to do with the way they are. These people are hiding their hearts and feelings behind the analytical brain. It is simply a self-protection mechanism.

If you have an analytical mind, you probably wouldn’t agree with ‘you just know’ feeling. To you, that feeling comes because that person fits the things you are looking for. You already have a list of your ‘need-to-haves’, ‘good-to-haves’ and ‘better-not-haves’. You need to know what you want first, otherwise you just ‘settle’. If you were lucky enough to find someone who fits all those on your list, then you would feel very comfortable and things would seem to just ‘flow’. That is probably when people believe that they ‘just know’.

If you have never had the ‘when you know, you know’ moment, don’t let it bother you. You should just go with it. And it’s not because you ‘settle’ or don’t care. You should accept the fact that this is how and who you are. You’re not afraid to be in a relationship with someone. But that person has to be very special and worth it. He has to be someone whom you trust and feel comfortable being around. Because you know that a person who deserves you should be 100% into a relationship with you. He will show you that he fits your list (and you fit his) over time. He will prove your points with his effort. It will be a compromising journey together. He will eventually lead you to ‘know.’ TC mark


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