There are going to be mornings where you reach over to turn off your alarm, and you’ll feel the weight of the day on your shoulders before even starting it. That first cup of coffee you love so much will sometimes not taste as good as it does on other mornings. The long shower you look forward to that wakes you and replenishes you will sometimes just feel like another chore draining you. Sometimes we do things for so long our bodies automatically turn on autopilot mode-feeling nothing, other times we love what we do until one day the anxiety settles in and makes itself comfortable in our bodies. The anxiety talks to you and all it does is become louder as the day goes on. All you can hear are the things you don’t want to listen to…You’re not good enough. You need to do better. Why are you like this? Usually it comes out of nowhere with no warning and it could even get unmanageable, so you wonder if it’s worth pushing through it all, and it is. The reward you get for surviving those days is just that, you survived that day and maybe you’ll have a little more strength the next time that anxiety comes back around.
There will be days people make you feel unloved, so you’ll naturally start to doubt the love you have for your own self. You might even start to think: “Is life worth it?” and wonder if you should continue living it, you should. The days where you feel like you are falling into a black hole, getting sucked in at full speed and it seems like there is no light showing through to guide you-those are the ones you hold on to. Those days…those incredibly unbearable, dark and eerie days, they are the ones that make the good days a little brighter and more lively for you.
Almost all of us have felt it. We have been there with you, even if some of us do not say it out loud-we have all silently suffered. There is so much beauty in our suffering because we are learning, living and growing. Everyone tells you to have love for yourself, but no one ever taught you how to have it. In time, you will learn and sometimes all it takes to love yourself is to light some candles, set up a warm bubbly bath and read a good book. Take the time to yourself on the days you feel you cannot handle them. You deserve to do things that will ease your soul on these days. Remember that pain is not always bad. We all need to hurt a little to live a little.