What It’s Like To Be A Girl Without A “Person”

Khánh Hmoong
Khánh Hmoong

You don’t have a constant. You don’t have a person. You don’t have someone you can count on to hold your hand or whisper reassurances into your ear when everything goes to shit. You are pretty much on your own.

And you know what? That’s perfectly fine.

You do not need a constant. You do not need a person. You do not need someone to hold your hand or whisper reassurances into your ear when everything goes to shit. You are on your own… and this is a fact that is not worth your tears and your stress.

“You are a strong, independent woman who doesn’t need a man (or a woman, for that matter) to make you happy.” We have always said this in jest whenever the situation presented itself. This time, however, I say this to you with the utmost sincerity and seriousness. You really do not need a Someone. Your happiness should not be anchored on the presence of another person in your life. You should not have to depend on someone else to brighten up your day. As far as I’m concerned, you are your own anchor and you have the capacity to lift yourself up… you’re strong like that.

You’ve been saying that you’re scared of letting him go… Are you being a quitter? Are you ever going to find someone to put up with your shit? Are you ever going to have something like what you had with him ever again? Are you making a mistake?

Is it really quitting if it eliminates the dark cloud that’s been hanging over your head for the past few months? Is it really worth staying with him if he just “put up with your shit” instead of loving your quirks? Is it really so bad to not have something like what you had with him ever again if what you had with him has led to this? If you make the decision to let him go and he didn’t love you enough to keep trying to change your mind and fight for you, would it really be a mistake?

You should never have to apologize for the way you feel. Your heart is wholly your own, and you are the only person who can decide what’s best for it. If you want to let him go, let him go. If you want to keep him, keep him. However, your decision should not be based on your need for having a Constant, a Person, a Someone – whatever you’d like to call it. You are your own Constant, your own Person, your own Someone – you do not need anyone else to fill that role for you, as if anyone ever could.

I believe in you. I believe that you are capable of standing on your own and taking care of yourself, in the same way that you’ve helped me and so many of the people you care for stand on their own and take care of themselves. You may not be at that point now, but there is no doubt in my mind that you will, eventually. It may take a while and you may have to take some time for yourself, but you’ll get there. I have faith in you.

It’s time you have faith in yourself. You are stronger than you think. You are capable of so much more. You are worth so much more. Your strength and your capability and your worth are not hinged on the presence or absence of someone else in your life.

You do not need A Constant. You are your own Constant. As far as I’m concerned, you are not a bad person to have around. TC mark

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