Life

Read This When The Pain Becomes Too Much

Hey sweet soul, I know you’re crying right now.

Maybe not with physical tears, but your heart is bleeding. It has been hurt. Maybe by people, or maybe by yourself. You’re blaming yourself for the mistakes you made. I trusted him. I believed her. I listened to their voices. I let it happen. They didn’t mean to. Or perhaps you’re just really angry at them. How could they do this to me? How could this happen? Why me?

First, I want you to know that you have been hurt. They don’t get to decide if they hurt you. They can’t tell you how to feel. You do. And all this pain means you’re hurting. Bad. And that’s okay. Let it hurt. Let the pain shower over you like black pebbles falling onto your soft skin. Let its edges poke you sharply and make you gasp trying to breathe through it. Let it make you cry till there’s no sound escaping your lips. Let it make you shake as sobs rattle your body violently. Let it all out. You’re hurting, sweet soul—let it hurt.

Sometimes the people who you thought would stick by you don’t. Sometimes the person you thought you were isn’t there anymore. And you just have to accept it. No matter how much it hurts.

Your lips are often pursed together, holding a cry. Please, let it out. Let your soul cleanse with the gentle acceptance of your pain. Stop denying it. Stop avoiding it. When you’re breaking down, say to yourself: I have been hurt. I have every right to cry. It hurts. And then be that voice that comforts you. That soft smile. That gentle touch on your shoulder that keeps you standing. Because what do you do to a little boy who has been hurt? You talk to him gently. You reassure his worth. You let him cry on your shoulder. You make him smile. You tell him, You’re going to be fine. The pain will go away. You’re strong. Look at you, you’re surviving all the punches life is throwing at you. You’re doing it! And I know it hurts, darling, but you’re going to be okay. I promise.

The truth is, hope is never bad. It’s the most positive thing you can have. And as far as the hurt goes, think of it like this. People who go through an easy life are made up of pieces of the same color. Pink, for example. But people who go through life facing hardships, broken people, hurt people, are made up of all kinds of colored pieces: pink, purple, yellow, blue, violet, red, everything. And it’s beautiful. They grow through the pain, adding a new color to their soul as they go on. Can you imagine having such a colorful soul? By the time life will be done with you, can you imagine the beauty of your soul? It’s like seeing all kinds of colored fireworks going off into the night sky and staring at it in awe. It all started with the fire, sweet soul. Don’t ever forget that.

Do forgive though. Forgive them for what they did to you. Forgive yourself for what you made your heart believe. There are no bad decisions. Every decision leads you to a different path, a path with more twists, but trust me, a much more fulfilling one. It helps you discover parts of yourself you didn’t know you had. It helps you happy cry. When you’re so in touch with your emotions, you feel everything. You don’t have to forget what happened in order to heal. You can let it be in your memory, let it be the beautiful diversion in your path that led you to a new better path, and move on. Remember, life always gets better. There are still so many amazing things left to do. There are still so many giggles and laughs to be had. There are still so many kisses and warm hugs to be shared. There are still so many fireworks to be seen. So you can cry hard right now, brave soul, but promise me you’ll keep on staying strong. You’ll have hope. You’ll have the courage to open your heart again to smile.

The thing is, anything that has the ability to break your heart is worth chasing. So stop being scared of being hurt again. Stop shutting your walls down. If you’re capable of being hurt, it means you cared in the first place. Being vulnerable is the most raw, freeing state of being. It means you feel. By shutting out the possibility of pain, you’re shutting out the possibility of utter happiness too. All the smiles, kisses, hugs. So stop believing that what you’re doing is the only thing left to do. Stop believing that being hurt means that you’ll always be hurt in life. Trust me, if it makes your heart quiver, it’s worth it. Stop pushing yourself away. Stop pushing others away. Stop believing that a broken heart is a bad thing. And now, brave soul, stop crying.

Stop crying slowly and let it go. Let the pain go. Let the hurt go. Let the past go. Let who you were go. Find the beauty in the pain. All this time, you’ve been wasting your life trying to survive. But no more. Now it’s time to thrive. To know that your next broken heart will make you cry again. It will make you struggle to catch your breath again. It will make you feel pain again. But this time, it sounds like that would be okay.

A broken heart seems like such a personal thing because there’s no physical evidence of it to show to people. That’s why it is harder to accept and move on from. If nobody can tell that you have been hurt, have you? Does it matter that much? Nobody will know you’re hurting unless you tell them. And you’re right, it is a personal thing. But that’s what makes it so extraordinary. You’re never going to be a different you with a regular scar. Oh no, you need a whole damn special scar to help you become stronger, to help you smile more, to help you care more.

To be a softer yet braver version of yourself. Because you know, sweet soul. You know how it feels to be hurt. TC mark

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About the author
An INFP who likes to play with the melody of words Follow Nireka on Instagram or read more articles from Nireka on Thought Catalog.

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