We hear all time that people don’t change, even if you want them to. But I’ll tell you something.
Sometimes they do.
First, you need to understand that there’s a big difference between giving up and letting go. When you give up, you don’t even look back. You just walk away from the one you once loved. You don’t regret it or think if you are doing the right thing. You simply leave. But letting go, on the other hand, is when you tried everything you could. You spent nights crying yourself to sleep. You tried to understand where you failed. You remembered all the good moments you had together and the reasons why you should keep trying. When you decide to let go, it’s because you thought about the best for both of you. You thought about all the possibilities to make thing fall into place again. But you couldn’t.
When you let go, you can still be in love. And if both of you are, even after letting go, you’ll eventually think about a second chance.
Distance is not as bad as everyone thinks. If you decided to let go, you had your reasons. And sometimes only distance can show you the true meaning of things and even the solutions to your problems. Distance introduces you to a new feeling, something you didn’t feel before. You start valorizing the little things. You miss their laugh, their touch, their look. You remember the butterflies they gave you on your first date. The way they hold you when you were sad. The way they understood you thoughts and fears. The way they made you smile. You realize all the good things you built together. You understand that although you love them, you’ll discuss and fight for stupid things, like every other couple, even the ones who are together for years.
But do you know the difference between them, the ones who spend a lifetime together, and the ones who break up? They are willing to fight for each other no matter what. They see the problems as battles to be won. The problems as lessons. They simply don’t give up. Both of them try their best to make things right. For them, it’s “us against the world”. And that’s why they’re still together.
Because they don’t give up.
The most important thing, actually, is remembering that a relationship is made by two different people. And both of them must be on the same page. It doesn’t matter how many times you fell, but how many you got up. It doesn’t matter if you broke up, if you let go. That’s ok. That doesn’t mean that you’re never going to work it out. If you love each other and are willing to do everything you can to be happy no matter what, that’s what matters.
You learned so much with distance. You’re changed. Now you realize that you weren’t valorizing them the way you should, that you could have had more patience, could have understand more. But have you ever thought that maybe they’re feeling the same way? That maybe they also changed? That jealously and insecurities have been thought about? That they have realized they could have shown more of their feelings? When you understand that distance could have been good for both of you, that you changed and remembered how much you love them, it’s time to think about giving a second chance…
It may sound cliché, but everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that distance was all you needed. It’s not magic. It’s not miracle. But two people trying to dream after a nightmare. It’s believing in true love. It’s believing in you two. If they show you they’re on the same page as you are and if you love each other, why not give one more shot?
Have you ever thought about “falling before you fly”?
Well, you should.