You won’t ask out the person you like.
Alright, this one is a freebie. Of course your life would be better if you didn’t have to constantly wonder whether your crush’s interactions with you were just them being nice or they actually are secretly in love with you and are just desperately hoping you want to make sweet, sweet love to them, too. Well, there’s only one way to find out! What’s the worst that could happen? They’ll say no, and it’ll be awkward briefly, but then you’ll move past it. No, actually, the worst that could happen is that you don’t say anything and you waste time mooning over someone without having the stones to figure out if something could come of it or not.
You stay up all night on the Internet.
It’s midnight, and sure you could keep refreshing your newsfeed, Twitter, three different e-mail accounts, and the front page of Reddit for the next two to five hours in the hopes of something moderately interesting to occur. Or you could just go to sleep. Nothing worthwhile is going to happen on the Internet while you sleep, and if it does, you can just see it as soon as you wake up. Does anyone actually remember what it feels like not to be continually sleep-deprived? Work isn’t as terrible, other people aren’t so bad, and coffee isn’t quite as necessary. Just try sleeping more than six hours a night. You’ll be hooked; I promise.
You use Facebook.
Listen. Has anyone ever felt better about themselves after using Facebook? Almost certainly not. This website is a death trap. Think about it: Facebook allows you to view all of the parties you weren’t invited to, all of the conversations your friends are having that don’t include you, and all of your exes that are happy without you. If it weren’t for those pesky things we call friends and our inherent need as human beings to communicate with them, I’m sure no one in their right mind would use that god forsaken website.
You let someone else dictate your goals.
Whether its your parents’ will to live vicariously through your life as a doctor or deciding between your lifelong dream of traveling the world and moving to be near your significant other after graduation, don’t do it. Your goals and aspirations are a part of who you are, and they won’t change just because you say “pretty please.” You may as well stop wasting your precious time trying to change the unchangeable and follow your dreams. If you don’t do it now, chances are you’ll get sucked down a path you hate and end up switching careers to something you actually enjoy somewhere down the line, so don’t even bother trying to be someone you’re not, even if it’s for someone you love.
You hang around your frenemy.
Frenemies are judgmental and make you feel self-conscious, but you often end up sticking around with them because of your history with them or due to real or perceived pressure from mutual friends. Just stop hanging around them. You probably drive everyone else crazy bitching about how insensitive they are anyway, No, you’re not overreacting, and no, you don’t need a big Degrassi-style friend break-up to end it. Just fade them out of your life over a few weeks or months and be done with it.
You are the frenemy.
You’re incessantly jealous of an acquaintance but say you “just get a bad vibe from them,” or you’re judgmental of a friend but claim you are only looking out for their best interests. Congratulations, you’re the frenemy. If you can’t suppress your resentment enough to maintain a happy friendship with them, why bother with the facade? Tell them you’re “like, super busy lately” and take some time apart until you get over it. If they seem legitimately upset with this, tell them the truth. They deserve to know and will appreciate your honesty.