We don’t have to explain right this moment. We don’t even have to give reasons. We just need to take things in, let it ferment. Let the thought of losing one another sink in.
And yes this sounds funny when we can joke about the thought of moving on to our separate ways. But you know, we both know nothing’s ever funny when it comes to love — especially a love this real and this powerful. I am oblivious of the future waiting for me or us for that matter but the time is not right. Cliché, but true. We met each other with the pieces of our own broken hearts, unable to love, unable to be honest, unable to share the self with another.
I wanted to be honest and so I am telling you this now. I do not ask that you give me closure. Closure is for when you’re through loving someone that you want nothing linking you to that person anymore, not even friendship. This is not our case. We only had a bad shot in love and it’s okay. It happens.
If in the course of your new life, you meet someone else, tell her to take things slow. Tell her to be honest. Tell her not to be afraid when what she’s about to say might break you apart. Tell her to love you passionately and embrace you like even the moonlight can’t tear you apart. Tell her to look for other men so she’ll be sure if she wants to be with you. Ask her to make you breakfast and tell her to spend every waking moment in your arms.
Tell her that if this does not work out, she can always walk out the door and see life in a better light. The moment she walks out the door, go out and don’t be afraid to look for another “her,” because the life we have is too short to miss that one, special person. Do not skip your daily breakfast routine, you might meet her along the way. Log out of work a minute late or a minute early, you might meet her on the train. Go to the movies alone, she might be sitting next to you. Watch a concert, she might pour beer all over you and you might get mad but at least you’ve come to meet her.
The very moment you hold her hand, kiss her. Don’t let hesitations cost you the woman of your life like it did with me. Don’t let fear rob you of that one special moment of running your fingers through her hair, backlit by the sunlight, and slowly telling her how beautiful she is and mean it.
I was consumed with fear. You were too. And so now we are apart, worlds apart. The universe will conspire to bring you a step closer to the woman of your life and she will be there waiting whenever you are ready.