Nowadays, social interactions are becoming increasingly weird and disconnected. When you’re out enjoying the good summer or going out at night, you encounter special creatures, sometimes making you wonder if you’re still living among humans. If you have common sense and can take care of yourself, you might survive to tell the stories.
1. The undead
You’re walking on the streets really focused on your phone when you notice somebody walking towards you. As every good western citizen, you try your best to pretend they don’t exist and you try to avoid all contact. But from the corner of your eyes, you can feel this person is looking at you intently as if they wanted to greet you, so you finally look back at them. The pair of eyes that are stubbornly staring at you have no soul, as if there’s no life current passing through them: it’s like staring into a void that doesn’t return any acknowledgement.
2. The all-important CEO
They walk with an absolute straight line, bold and determined, as if every step they took generated a thousand dollars. They are like a storm passing by and nothing could stop them: they shoulder shove people and they live in their own world. If you stand up to them for more than 2 seconds though, you realize they’re in a rush to get on the bus to buy Corn flakes on special at Walmart.
3. The dog with its owner on a leash
A huge, wild untamed pit bull moves about, sniffing everything left and right, with its owner behind being doghandled, desperately saying “NO. NO. NO”. When the beast comes near you, sometimes it jumps on you to hug you and lick your face, putting all its slime over your suit, and sometimes it barks and growls at you like it wants to bite your head off, forcing you to discipline a dog that you don’t even own.
4. The “beggar” out of prison
Slick youngsters have become more and more creative at making money, and one of their ways is to wait at hot spots and pretend to be poor for a living. One of their favorite lines is this: “I just came out of prison, but I’m not dangerous. Could you give me some money please so I can buy a bus ticket?” You take a good look at them and you just know they’re 20 somethings hustling for some bucks to buy the new smartphone their parents mercilessly didn’t buy them for their birthday.
5. The puppeteer
They walk stiffly and all their movements are controlled and calculated, as if their body was a puppet receiving instructions from their brain. You can spot something is just off with them even from a mile away. They are overly self-conscious to the point of contrition, and when they cross your path, you can tell they’re being annoyed by your presence. Then while their head sits very still, their eyes take a quick look at you between two blinks before going back straight ahead.
6. The kids with their parents on a leash
There’s this kid playing around shouting screechy loud sounds at an annoying pitch that is not socially normal. He jumps in his car toy, starts pedaling fast right and rams it into your leg like you’re part of his game. He says “beep beep” without looking at you then he continues around you as if you didn’t exist. Their parents don’t even ask him to apologize and they don’t even apologize to you either. Later, those same parents will blame generation Z for being entitled, lazy narcissists.
7. The not-so-old lady
She looks frail, she looks pitiful, she walks slowly and painfully towards you to ask for money because she’s supposedly starving. This doesn’t happen every day, you are caught by surprise and you feel sorry for her. You start pulling out your wallet to look for some bills, but then your gut tells you something is off. You tell her “sorry I don’t have any money”, then not even waiting for the end of your sentence, she uncurls her back, her face toughens up and she walks away quickly, only to start all over again with someone else.
8. The good people you didn’t trust
Finally, a nice joyful couple from out of town comes to you to ask for directions. You’re distant, cold and suspicious as you tell them you don’t know anything and impolitely walk away from them. Few steps later you think damn, these people seemed genuinely honest, why the hell didn’t I help them?