5 Funny Ways Getting Jacked Changes Your Life


When I was in my early twenties, I decided to go from muscular to big. Aside from the well-known effects of performing better in bed, having more energy during the day and being more driven, there are little social changes you notice that nobody talks about. Since I was the same guy inside and my attitude and personality had stayed the same, I knew those little funny events happened because of my new physique.

Random women “bump” into you

Tall blonde girl in her twenties wearing a short business dress is walking your way, only a little off to the left. You spot her, she spots you; you start eyeing each other up and down then lock your gazes together. Suddenly, she makes side steps to have her trajectory fall right into yours and pretends she’s looking up in the sky or reading something on her phone. She stubbornly keeps her course to crash into you, then “innocently” apologizes with a smile while softly touching your arms and chest.

Sometimes their timing is off. Once I was in a rush to enter a concert and some brattish beauty thought it would be cute to get in my way in the same fashion. She was getting out of the show and I was entering it; she went out of her way to step right into my entrance and dickishly use it as an exit, even though she saw I had already put my ticket in. Our bodies collided in a hugging manner, her breasts pressing against my pecks, her mouth near mine; I could feel her confused mix of irritation and sexual arousal as I grabbed her hips and firmly pushed her out of my way with a grimace on my face.

Girls with boyfriends give you naughty looks

While these girls are affectionately hugging their lover with his back facing away from you, they typically throw you these sensual eyes with their head tilted down, lips slightly pinched and that little smirk you have seen many times before. You can easily assess the loyalty of a woman by giving her dirty looks while she’s with her man. If she doesn’t look away in embarrassment, she’s open for some side action, and in the event an “accident” happens, no worries, she can count on the sucker she calls boyfriend to raise and take care of it. You can already picture the pillow talks with her because they all sound the same: “I love my fiancée SO much. I feel SO terrible! Do you think I’m a slut? Yeah you’re right, I’m not a slut, it’s just that one night. I’ll stop when I get married in 2 weeks. Ready for round 2? Oh It’s OK I don’t like condoms either hee hee!”

Men challenge you

In the same way that women get in your face, men challenge you. You’re walking on the streets minding your own business, when another dude a dozen feet away is moving towards you from the opposite direction. Suddenly, he side steps to get right in your way. He knows he’s in the wrong, but he expects you to move out just for provocation’s sake. The chicken game has started: the first man who changes his path loses. As he realizes you’re not budging, he awkwardly gets out of your way at the very last second to avoid crashing into you, looking down in embarrassment and defeat.

People see you as a threat

When you walk at night, you notice people from far away changing sidewalks to avoid you, something you usually do yourself. Bouncers are less friendly and more authoritative upon your arrival at clubs. Police officers are more direct and aggressive with you. In social events, you get more of that unwarranted contrived niceness from guys who want to be your friend.

Sometimes I take a shortcut and walk through a poor white neighborhood to go home. The street bums with their prostitutes sitting next to them look at me with a stare that says “I’m willing to kill you if you start trouble”. You can tell they are the kind of guys who rob people at knife point, sell drugs to teenagers or pimp underage girls. They have that alien, animalistic look in their face, the inhumane kind with absolutely no compassion or empathy. Looking them in the eye brings inside you a confusing feeling, because it uncontrollably fills your body with adrenaline and pushes you to match their inherent aggression, making you feel in turn like an animal yourself.

You get unjustly classified as a douche bag

Despite the fact that you have the same brain, the same education and the same personality, some people will assume you’re bad and stupid just from your looks. The irony is that they’re the same kind of people who chant that being non-judgmental is an important value and whine and complain about being judged according to their looks. It’s OK though, because most of the time they are overly intellectual snobs, feminists, and general insecure men, the kind of losers you wouldn’t want to be friends with anyway. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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