To The Girl Who Thinks She Can Be Alone Forever


You are amazing, you know that, right? You are beautiful, strong, confident, carefree, passionate, and independent, which sets you apart from the conventional chic. You are no damsel in distress and definitely not a spoiled little princess. You choose to be alone rather than to take another shot in love because you’re scared that your heart might get broken again. A lot of people keep on telling you — try to convince you, actually — to go back to the dating world and just enjoy the ride because you’ve been roaming around the independency lane for quite a while and someone needs to pull you out of there.

Don’t get me wrong; everybody needs to learn how to be independent. Having alone time is healthy, but a lifetime alone? Well, that’s a different story.

It’s great — remarkable, perhaps — that you manage to eat alone in a fine restaurant, shop alone, cross the street alone, go home late at night alone. In fact, the list of things you can do by yourself is a lot like an old scripture filled with endless sorceries. You see this as one of your strongest traits, but in reality, it’s the opposite. You got so used to being alone and succumbing into your own puddle of loneliness that when someone tries to save you from drowning completely, you push them away.

You’ve been through a painful breakup and you got your heart broken over a million times; that’s why you’ve put so much effort into keeping your guard up and showing everybody how strong you already are. You stand up quickly after a terrifying fall, you show an adequate amount of vulnerability at the perfect moments, you work your ass off 24/7, and you handle criticisms well and even use them as your daily motivation. You show the people around you that problems are to be faced, not feared. You’re like everyone’s walking, talking silver lining. But the truth is, dear, being the bearer of hope is a tough job and because you give so much to others, you’ve lost some for yourself. You need someone who will give you hope and care for you when you’ve given away all that you have.

No, you don’t need someone who will buy you things and take you places; you can do that on your own. But you certainly need someone who will be there for you when your shoes give up on you, when they’re too tired to kick any more ass or take anymore names. One day, you’ll meet someone whose arms will always be ready to reach out to help you, because you can never carry all that baggage and all those burdens alone. Someone whose eyes will see the beauty in you despite the sweat, dirt, and eyebags you’ve accumulated, because you truly are a beautiful creation despite or in spite or because of your hard work, and if you don’t appreciate that, they certainly will.

Their mouth will speak of your imperfections, yet their mind will still search for you and you alone when it wanders, because nobody else can make their day better than the girl who knows her way in this crazy world. They know that you are used to being alone, but despite all your efforts to push them away, they never leave. They work their way into and around your life, carry you when you’re tired, make you laugh after a long day of work, and understand you when you start to be your usual stubborn self.

When you meet someone who will do and be all of these for you, don’t run away. Take your chance, accept the challenge of falling in love again. Take the chance to just be genuinely happy.

You cannot be alone forever. You cannot run away from love and stay in your comfort zone for eternity. You have to go back out there, fall in love, fall out of love, get your heart broken a million times more because after all the pain, the payoff is close at hand. You are one hell of a strong girl, so why let fear consume you?

I know you love how your life is, but I guarantee you that it will be so much better when you have someone to share all your achievements with. Honey, having someone special in your life doesn’t mean that you have to give up your independence. They are in your life in order to guide you, inspire you to work harder, and comfort you when you’re on the verge of breaking down. You need someone not because it is a norm in society, or because everybody else does, but because that’s what life is about — union, and sharing victories that are not just yours, but the both of yours. Together. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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