The sensitives of the world are a very important cog in the wheel of humanity. We see the needs of the world, sensing with great intuitiveness what is lacking, needed for the world to right itself. Sensitives see the needs on a grand, worldly scale: hunger, domestic violence issues, poverty, racism, and often take these issues on as activists in their hearts, and out in our real world communities.
We also see the nuance of unmet needs in our fellow humans on a small, deep, and intimate level. Sensitives, empaths, old souls (whatever name you give your own innate powers of sensing), these are our inherent gifts, born to us from the universe, a long lineage of attunement passing these intangible gifts from our ancestors to us, and for the generations that follow.
On a small scale we can see when someone needs a compliment or a hug, and we will trip over ourselves to hand this over, straight from our deeply feeling hearts, hoping our energetic gift enters and fills their heart. What beautiful moments of exchange between humans, we sensitives can facilitate!
Giving feels so damn good, doesn’t it, dear, sweet sensitive? And it’s no skin off your nose to offer hugs, support, help, compliments, a couple bucks, your truck for a buddy’s move, your time to babysit for a friend, etc. Sometimes, we give things the receiver isn’t ever aware of, like the benefit of the doubt, or a prayer, forgiveness sans apology, another chance even when our hearts have been mindlessly trampled. We can give and give until we work our emotional fingers to the bone, believing in the potential of another human being, and believing in the power of our positive efforts and energies as a worthwhile investment because we value the recipient human in our path.
We give, give, and give, because we can and because we truly believe this is the right thing to do.
As a life coach, therapist, and yoga teacher, I have witnessed countless sensitives show up in utter depletion, lost, hurt, confused, and exhausted.
The selfless giving felt so good for so long until it didn’t anymore. “How can this be? they cry, feeling chewed up and spit out by the world, on a small scale and large. Because sensitives have a deep connection to fairness as part of their nature, this giving, heartfelt lifestyle, accidentally sets up a huge emptiness or void within. In a physical sense, if I gave away every object from my home, I would have nothing for me, as well as nothing to give.
If we give away all of our energy and care, we will have nothing left for ourselves, and no more to give to others.
As sensitives, we must practice balance to replenish. No two people will need the same balance, but we must get to know ourselves, figure our our own needs, and give to ourselves so that we can maintain a lifetime of giving to others. Too many “yeses” to others when our source is depleted becomes too many accidental “no-es” to ourselves.
“Yes, I can help you move at 5 a.m. tomorrow,” also sends the message to the self “Your rest and sleep are unimportant, and what others need is a priority, keep giving til you drop.” Then we wonder why we are cranky, exhausted, even resentful.
Mindlessly and often innocently, we can give with a secret expectation, coming from our natural sense of fairness and rightness, that when we are in need, the people in our community that have reaped the loving benefit of our giving, will return that to us in our time of need.
Our own fairness beliefs bite us in the ass.
This unconscious process sets up for a lot of hurt, and in moments when we are low, depleted, and out of energy to cope, because we have selflessly given it all away. Ever see a body builder with over-defined, huge upper body and teeny tiny bird legs? We must face that we have accidentally built giant giving muscles and neglected our receiving muscles. We’ve also created subconscious contracts within relationships that define the agreement between the two parties as “I am the giver, you receiver.”
We have more comfort and confidence in our giving muscles. Receiving muscles may even be atrophied. We must work to balance. We must rewrite these
contracts as reasonable, fair, and equitable.
I challenge you to make these unconscious contracts you have been living by, conscious. I challenge you to make it part of your self care to practice receiving from others and giving to yourself. Others will be confused, even angry (they don’t know about the contracts consciously and expect you to give until you drop because you taught them that). It is okay to foster reciprocity.
It’s okay for people to be uncomfortable, all growth is. Give permission to nurture your own sensitive soul today.