Thought Catalog

The Real You Is Beautiful — The Importance Of Ending Your Abusive Relationship With Social Media

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Kaboompics // Karolina

Social media can be used in a great way if used in a right manner. It can be used to inspire others, promote intellectual curiosity, share a love of arts, culture, the spirit of global exploration, and connect with social and environmental issues. However when misused for personal validation based on superficial characteristics, it becomes like an abusive relationship. All your persistent efforts backfire as you struggle to stay afloat, and keep up the pretense of your fake and perfect life.

The glamorous and seductive allure of social media is like the calm beckoning waters of an ocean that unsuspectingly sweep you away in a deep undercurrent. It’s like the stealthy python that gently wraps itself around and chokes you to your slow death. It’s the network of illusory maya in our digital universe. It’s the saddest irony that a platform built to connect people is actually making us more emotionally disconnected. Incorrect social media use is bringing out the worst and most narcissistic aspects of human nature. It pushes self-promotion and degrades our empathy and compassion.

It’s especially affecting young women, who are already conditioned to value their external beauty and social status as their most desirable traits. Before you know it, you’re exposing your semi-naked photos to a bunch of stalking creepers lurking behind digital screens. You’re objectifying yourself as a woman, and setting a bad example to other girls. You’re spending your hard earned money on expensive materialistic things that you don’t even need. If you get pleasure from inciting envy, and making yourself feel superior to others, then you need therapy because you clearly have some self-esteem issues.

The thirst for external validation consumes you in the most insidiously manipulative manner like the charming player who draws you in with sweet words and future faking. Without realizing it, you start bending over backwards to please him. It doesn’t even matter what you want anymore. You must keep proving yourself to feel like you are good enough. You are slowly being conditioned to think that external validation reflects your deep, inner worth as a person. It begins to occupy your thoughts as you become mentally, emotionally and physically dependent on it. You start obsessing and comparing yourself to others, and it’s just never enough. You’re stuck in a codependent relationship, and its seductive pull is slowly destroying your sense of self-esteem.

The thing about you is that you are real. You are messy, uncertain and imperfect, but that’s what makes you beautiful. You are fantastic and fabulous in your authenticity. The behind-the-scenes suffering and pain are actually the good stuff. It’s what will give you depth, wisdom and awareness, and instill in you a strong sense of inner self worth. Your integrity and strength of spirit is what really matters. It’s what makes you peel back the layers on the surface, get in touch with and grow to become whom you really are.

If you’re always perfect, you’re going to be unable to accept the parts of your life that aren’t. If you’re always playing it safe, you are never going to have the courage to do something risky for fear of rejection. If you don’t fail in life, you lose the freedom to explore and adventure because you’re living too cautiously.

If you don’t release control over you fake persona, you’ll never experience your real self.

Excessive and superficial social media use is conditioning you to ask for the permission of others to live your own life. It’s overrating the pursuit of happiness, and teaching you to prioritize popularity over purpose and passion. It’s breaking you down to believe that success is the only thing that matters, that love, community, harmony and wellness are not important.

It’s taking away your power for personal growth.

Please don’t let it. TC mark

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