You tried so hard to keep that heart of yours caged, its fantasies are ridiculous, its ideas are beyond redemption. How do you explain to something that seems to never remember when it was last broken and just wanted to keep running back to the thing that had broken it so. You feel your heart is an addict, constantly wanting the thing that is destroying it when you are simply trying to protect it.
You have changed since the last time your heart broke. You are smarter now. You don’t trust so easily. You keep your guard up at all times. You don’t allow yourself to fall and even if you do, you grab your heart and put it right back inside your chest, locking it inside it’s cage. You’ve trusted before and it’s hurt you so badly you don’t ever want to trust again. You’re focused on other things: a career, your friends, sports, creativity, studying, love is not something you want in your life right now, if ever again.
But what do you do with this wild thing that doesn’t listen, that chooses romance when you laugh at the idea of what romance is. What you find cliched, it finds beautiful, what you stay away from, it chases with abandon and glee. This foolish heart of yours, this reckless heart of yours.
Look, I understand. I understand the need to protect yourself. I understand being jaded. But the trouble is, you cannot change such a fundamental part of yourself so it’s important to find a compromise for your heart and your brain. Keep your guard up if it makes you feel better, don’t trust as easily. Don’t let your heart fall for just about anyone. But at the same time, nourish it with the right kind of love. The right kind of person will be patient with you, allow you to bring your guard down by yourself. They will be kind and gentle to that broken, beautiful, wild thing inside your chest.
So keep your heart on a leash until you find the person who embraces all of you, the cynic and the hopeless romantic, the bundle of contradictions that make you yourself, the beauty of impossibility that is your spirit. Don’t give up on love completely. Because a day is coming when you will meet someone who makes your hopelessly romantic heart beat, without breaking it, who will scale the walls you have around yourself and make you glad, so glad your heart is the way it is, and that you finally trusted it so both sides of you can finally be whole.