Sometimes the word ‘love’ is just too big of a word for a lot of people to say.
Like a drug, it carries a host of side effects, emotions like heartache when you least need it. Delirium when you find yourself helplessly daydreaming about the other person. Jealousy when you never thought of yourself as a jealous person in the very least. Anger when you are dealing with how different you are from the person you love. Pain when you feel them breaking your heart but you do not know what to do about it. Depression when you feel the person you love most parting from you slowly. And devastation when they finally leave you for good.
And unlike drugs, it doesn’t come with a warning label. There is no, “Drinking this will cause all these side effects that you cannot control and get away from.” No doctor to tell you how to treat all your side effects. No way of knowing or any kind of method of telling how you will react to it. Just going through it.
It’s a bit like taking pills from an unlabelled bottle you found in the medicine cupboard and waiting to see what happens next. Something both dangerous and terrifying. Something everyone in the world tells you not to do. And we do it to ourselves every time when we choose to love. Play Russian Roulette with our hearts and our minds.
So yeah, sometimes the word ‘love’ is too big of a word for some people to say. Because the bottle they found gave them so many side effects that they are much too afraid to ever truly say it or try it again.