My Soulmate Wish List

Bryan Brenneman /
Bryan Brenneman /
A few months ago I read this article. The idea of “create-your-own-husband” appealed to me in an imaginative, fun way so I figured I’d give the Soul Mate Wish List a try. After a while it became more serious — less of a create-your-own situation and more of a good way to separate the wheat from the chaff, so to speak. Obviously there are still a few tweaks to be made here and there as I grow and change, and not all of these are deal breakers, but this is the basic list I came up with, in no particular order of importance.
What does your soul mate wish list look like?

1. He is dependable, has a steady job, and doesn’t work weekends (or rarely). He has a good work ethic but places more importance on spending time with his family rather than making more money. He is frugal and handles his money well, but is not miserly. He has an actual budget and he (at least tries) to stick to it as closely as possible. He knows how to (and actually does) save money.

2. He has his own interests, his own circle of friends and a good relationship with his family. A good time for him is NOT going out to a bar. It’s going outside to take a walk or eating a meal with friends or playing a board game. He can spend time watching Netflix and napping but he must also want to get out and do things. He must be open to trying new things and learning new skills. He must be willing to be silly in public. He appreciates art in all forms.

3. He’s a go-getter but he looks before he leaps. He doesn’t make huge financial decisions on a whim. He thinks things out; he looks at something from all angles before making a commitment. He discusses big decisions with friends and family. He doesn’t think that he knows all the answers and strives to learn from other people — in fact, he tries to learn something new every day.

4. He keeps his word. He follows through. If something happens where he can’t commit, he lets me know in a timely fashion. He takes relationships seriously. He is loyal. He doesn’t get jealous or, if he does, it’s only a little bit here and there and doesn’t cause any major problems. He understands that even when you get married you should still continue to “court” your wife. He never takes me for granted.

5. He cherishes things of sentimental value. He keeps his belongings in good condition. When he listens to music he listens to the lyrics, not just the instruments. Words are important to him but he realizes that actions mean the most.

6. He takes care of his body. He hopes to be around for a while, for me and his future family. HE DOES NOT SMOKE CIGARETTES. He does not get black out drunk. He eats healthy food; not ONLY fast food or junk food, although he may enjoy that from time to time too. He can drink soda/energy drinks/etc. but those can’t be the ONLY beverages he drinks (i.e. he must also enjoy juice, water, etc.)

7. He has a generally sunny outlook on life. He looks up to and tries to emulate positive people. He always has HOPE inside him no matter what.

8. He must be Orthodox Christian or I won’t marry him. He must be involved in the church, actively seeking more ways to get closer to God. He must pray…both with me and on his own. He must go to church on his own.

9. He must be confident, but not cocky — NOT EGOTISTICAL. He can’t always talk about himself. He loses with grace and congratulates the winner. He must not lose hope when times are tough and must take pleasure in the simple things in life. He must recognize that in our relationship/ marriage we will support each other through thick and thin, no matter what.

10. Family/religious customs are important to him. Traditions are a part of his life and he wants to continue them and also make some of his own.

11. He has a kind humor, a clean humor, a dorky humor. Sarcasm is awesome. He can get a little “bad” every once in a while but not in a disgusting way. Fart jokes are just not funny, at least not after 10 minutes of them. He must laugh easily. He must appreciate my humor; my weirdness and my sarcasm. He must be able to hold an intelligent conversation with me. He must have deep thoughts of some sort.

13. He has confidence in me and my skills. He doesn’t think I can’t do something for any reason and he knows that I want to try everything at least once and he encourages me to do so. He encourages me to continue to broaden my horizons and if I have something I want to do he will support me 100%. He can tease me if I fail but not in a mean way. He is willing to teach me if I ask him. He doesn’t put me down or brush me off “because I’m a silly girl.” He treats women with respect; listening when they talk instead of brushing them aside. He doesn’t talk to women in a constantly flirtatious manner — instead, he treats them like people. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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