We Could Have Been A Royal Flush, But You Folded

In the game of Poker, just like relationships, nothing can be fixed and nothing can be predicted. The dealer, just like fate, gets to be in control of what is put in your hands. Sometimes you’ll get a high card, three of a kind, maybe even a straight, and sometimes you might get nothing at all. The only thing you have control of is to figure out if someone else has a better hand than you, but sometimes one can forget that people (players) are very good at making the grass look greener on the other side. Are you going to fold or are you going to ride it out?

You walked into my life just like the way someone sits next to you at the poker table. Little did we know that our hands would become intertwined even it was just for a very small amount of time. We exchange glances, followed by a friendly nod, and then we picked up our hands keeping them hidden from one another, almost parallel to the way we hide the harder parts of our lives…not quite ready for others to see.

Just like people at a poker table, we learned how to become comfortable with each other starting to pick up on their idiosyncrasies almost to easily. The look of nervousness on your face was exciting and fun, and something I started to develop as well. I knew when you were worried if your hand was too weak or if you thought someone else’s was better. But my favorite was when you were confident, that was by far the cutest face you had, mostly because you looked the happiest.
Soon enough I became less interested in my own game and more concerned with yours. I didn’t take time to notice the perfect cards the dealer (fate) was putting right in front of me, and cared more about the crappy cards you were dealt. I found myself wanting to give you my good luck just because I knew it’d make you happy. Just like that we became lost in a much more important game, us.

We created our own memories, our own three of kinds, high cards, straights, and on our best days a flush. We became our own perfect hand…at least for a little while. But lets face it something changed, and you started caring about your own hand because you realized forgetting about it was hurting your game. And just like that someone else someone sat our table; you became preoccupied with them, their mannerisms, and their hands.

When I looked down at my hand it wasn’t perfect anymore. I would say you ruined my game, but what I realized is that I ruined it myself by putting you first instead of myself. In the middle of trying to help you, I failed to notice all you cared about was what was in my hand, jumping at the chance to change what you had for mine. I let you blind me just like other players in the past. I thought I fell in love with you, but in reality what I fell in love with was the poker face you had perfected with lots of practice.

The sad part is, we could have been a royal flush. We could have been as high as the aces. You could have been my king, and I your queen. Together we could have been a jack-of-all-trades, a nearly perfect ten. But you weren’t all in, you folded, thinking everyone else had a perfect hand when in reality all they had was their very own two of a kind. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

I use humor to cope with my grief.

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