1. Kick the “my day” syndrome.
Symptoms of the “my day” syndrome include: feelings of entitlement; increased self-absorption; and a lack of consideration towards others. Yes it is certainly a special day for you, but it is equally special for the man you are marrying, for the parents who raised you both, and for the family and friends who have shared in your hopes, and dreams along the way. Taking a moment to understand this will help you create a more inclusive and celebratory environment for not only you, but your partner as well as your loved ones.
2. Blushing Bride vs. Bridezilla Battle.
Reality TV may have made Bridezilla all too popular. The truth is in the battle of the blushing bride vs. the bridezilla the former should always win. Bridezilla behavior is not only distasteful but it puts you at a huge disadvantage-it alienates your bridal party. The last thing you want is the people who are supposed to share in your day to instead shudder at the thought of it. Everyone knows to lend a bride-to-be shoulder to lean on, a tissue to cry into and a cocktail to sip on but that courtesy can run short at the sight of a bride who tightens her grip on her bridal party as if it were her very own stress ball in the palm of her hand. You want your bridal party fresh and fab to attend to you and contribute to your celebrations so tap into your blushing belle.
3. Banging or Bust?
The wedding business has become a competitive market of vendors and service providers designing, packaging and marketing you the wedding of your dreams. That dream might come with a hefty cost. It’s hard being raised on fairy tales to reign in on the champagne bar, the ice sculpture, chocolate fountain and haute couture imagery but the truth is the wedding is just the beginning of your life together- the money spent on a night could be money well spent over the course of years of marriage. Why live a dream for a day when you could live a dream for a few more? At the end of the night it will just be you, your husband… and I’d say a bulging bank balance is always more banging than a broke busted budget.
4. Get in sync.
Getting in sync with your true self and your partner is key. Too many brides fall into the latest trends, copycat mentality, and hype and end up with a wedding that’s all over the place. Start with a pen and a piece of paper and write down a few keys ideas, themes, images that you are guilty of spotting in the latest bridal magazine and balance that out with a column of ideas, themes and images that emanate from your life as a couple together. The last thing you want is a wedding ceremony and reception that is far from being genuine or reflective of your true couple style. You don’t want to feel like an outsider at your own party and you definitely don’t want to be called out for copying another dollie’s wedding-tres tacky.
5. Thank you, Gracias, Merci, Shukria.
Thank you goes a long way. There will be many people who will help support you along your way towards the big day. Though you have a lot on your plate, make time for a thank you the same way you make time to ask for their help or favor. Buy yourself a stack of thank you cards, and send out an e-mail asking for everyone’s address and a nice pen. Everyone appreciates some acknowledgement, just like you probably appreciate their graciousness.
6. Branding, labels and tags.
I’m not talking about the ones you find on your dream couture I’m talking about the ones you are putting out every day in your daily interactions. We all know a wedding is indicative of a major transition in your life, and with that were all aware that comes with a full plate. But the last thing anyone wants to hear on a daily basis is whining, complaining, and hearing how “stressed” you are. You’re off the market, you’re in love, you’re rocking a ring, and about to get a lot of attentions and gifts, be grateful, be pleasant, be blushing and be bubblie at least 65% of the time so those around you can join in on the buzz rather than wanting you to buzz off.
7. Disconnected and dumb.
Brides sometimes have a tendency to forget about everyone around them and immerse themselves in their wedding. Make some time to check in via e-mails or social networking sites at least bi-weekly so you can stay on top of the lives of those you love most. Second of all don’t be dumb. Everyone has costs, obligations and emotional upheavals, yes were all happy you’re getting married and moving forward but to expect those around you to drop wads of cash on you, skip out on preplanned activities or drop their woes isn’t always reasonable or realistic. Keep a margin for error and be understanding. If you only had a bank balance of 725$, a sick grandmother, and a deadbeat bf would you want to show up dressed to the nines and spend your meager earnings on a Swarovski bracelet, dinner and drinks… probably not.
8. Grooming the Groom.
Give up on having your groom being your wedding planner and don’t waste your energy battling him. Yes you care about the color and folds of the napkins and are doing all the work but unfortunately some clichés are true, at least from experience, the groom mostly buys you the ring, his suit and shows up. Leave him me. Get lost in the glints of your diamond and focus on haggling with the florist. Let’s be real if he gave you an opinion you didn’t like you wouldn’t go with anyways. Try to enjoy your engagement with him, make time for love, and hate him on the side silently, it will all even out at some point.
9. You marry the man, you marry the family.
No family is perfect and neither is yours. When you indulge in excessive bashing of your new family to your old one you risk tainting everyones perceptions and interactions of one another with your antics and dramatics. This is the intial fusion of two families coming together, the transition won’t be smooth but that doesn’t mean it has to be rocky. Do your bit to mitigate things, channel your energy, and zip your lips. Right now they are on the other side of the fence. Soon you will be standing together and the last thing you will want is others casting stones with the ammo you gave them during one of your regular bash sessions.
10. Rest & Relaxation.
Those long nights up Googling wedding decorators, those weepy eyes from crying because your groom doesn’t care about the napkins, and that stressed skin because you can’t stop bitching about your future in laws will show the day of and nothing will change that 1 day before the wedding. To enjoy your day and the pictures which last a lifetime be sure to drink lots of water, eat vitamins, pray, and keep good company. The last thing you want is to have the perfect wedding but be the fugly fail amidst it all.