Please, just remember – remember that overthinking will rob the joy out of your present moment. I know it’s difficult not to spend hours thinking about how things could have been if you did or said things differently. I know you wish you could go back in time to clear the board and start all over again. I know you play out different scenarios in your mind – scenarios that make you feel both happy and heartbroken.
Whether you did the right or wrong thing, you couldn’t have concealed or altered your emotions in those very moments – they just felt right. How you dealt with life in those very moments was based on your age, maturity, knowledge, experience, and your situation. The aftermath taught you, grew you, and healed you. The result of your actions brought you to where you are today. And you see, that’s just how life is supposed to work. If all of us were programmed to give others reactions they wanted to receive, answers they wanted to hear, and gestures they wanted to feel, we wouldn’t be human. To be human is to transcend from our roots to become better versions of ourselves by falling and rising. You couldn’t have pleased everyone, no matter how hard you tried.
The truth is, life was designed for you to break expectations and suffer broken expectations. Life was designed for you to give hurt, even if it was unintentional, and to receive hurt. Life was designed for you to give happiness and receive it in ways you never imagined. There is so much to life than getting lost in all the what if’s. Remember, you cannot be present if you don’t progress from your past. Instead, let your sorrows strengthen you. Instead, let every loss become your lesson. Reflect on how you grew one decade from today, one year from today, and one month from today. When you look back another decade, another year, and another month from today, you will realize why things transpired the way they did.
Below are a few things I do to fight for myself and live in the present, and you can too:
1. Appreciate today: Observe everything around you, including yourself. Observe the light, sounds, scents, your breathing, the taste on your tongue, and the skin on your body. Be appreciative of everything that surrounds you. Make a commitment that you will not let your past consume you, your time, and your present moment. Inhale deep and exhale your negative thoughts, sorrow, pain, and regret – let it escape your mind and body. Appreciate today and the experiences you’ve gone through by focusing on how it grew you.
2. Forgive past hurts: It hurts to be hurt, I know. Forgive them for hurting you and forgive yourself for being hard on yourself. Respect their hurt and respect your own hurt. Try your best to understand their perspective without playing the blame game. Forgiveness doesn’t require you to agree with someone but it requires you to understand. Forgiveness doesn’t require you to keep those who have hurt you in your life, but it requires you to step away when it continues hurting.
3. Love what you do: Work a job that gives you the passion and drive to get up from your warm bed. Stop worrying about what people will think about the work you do – if it fuels you, it will free you. It will free you from the stress of waiting for your workweek to end to live for weekends.
4. Dream about the future: Most of us hesitate to dream big because our dreams scare us and we worry that it might intimidate the people around us, but this is exactly where you want to be – out your comfort zone. If you want to feel fulfilled, discover your soul and its purpose. Dreams are the reasons behind great inventions. Dreams are the reasons behind cures. Dreams are reasons behind the rising of heroic people. Dreams enable us to contribute, give us personality, and a sense of fulfillment.
5. Stop worrying: Tomorrow will come even if you spend hours worrying about the past and wishing things were different. Worries don’t help us accomplish anything. Use your mental energy to focus on your life ahead. Focus on healing and dreaming.
6. Find happiness in simplicity: Find beauty in simple things. When you find beauty in simple things, like luscious leaves on Fall trees, soothing blue waves, a person’s contagious smile, or a precious handmade gift, you will always be happy as these little treasures are found in our every day. When life will give you a little extra, you will feel overwhelmed with joy and gratitude.
God will be happy that you were kind to your soul.