Over half of the population will be in a toxic relationship at least once in their life.
That’s kind of a shitty statistic, isn’t it?
Along with many others, I have been unlucky enough to experience an extremely toxic, poisonous, and nasty relationship—but I am also incredibly lucky to have escaped it and regained myself through exploring avenues I never thought I would be brave enough to explore.
This time last year, I left my prison; the place I called home. I was depressed, lonely, and I hated myself…and him.
I knew I deserved better and that I had to get out, but how?
By leaving; that’s how.
Man or woman, big or small, I’d like you to know that you shouldn’t be scared of being happy and living the life you deserve; life is short and there are bigger things for you out there than what you’re going through right now.
And you brave lot who have left and who are well on your way on the road to recovery? It will get easier; don’t give in.
Massive hugs to you all.
People assume I’m some sort of Wonder Woman for knowing my worth and escaping, but the truth is, like most people, I’d just had enough.
I left everything behind in an instant and I’m so madly happy now that it hurts. Here’s how I did it…
1. Rant—a lot.
If a person overdoses, their body is pumped full of whatever it takes to flush out the toxins.
Being in a toxic relationship was no different—I needed to expel my anger, hate, frustration, and pain and I’d tell anybody who’d listen.
2. Write a blog about it
Ta-da! You’re reading mine right now. Write every single fucking thing down and get it all out. Keep it hidden and private if you’re testing the waters, or, publish it and let the whole world know how brave you are. Either way, it’s therapeutic as hell.
3. Dye your hair
Wanna go brunette? Go brunette. Daring red? Hell yeah. Girl, new hair is a new you and one that cannot be mistaken for the old you. Who was she, anyway?! So basic.
5. Buy new clothes
Don’t go nuts—just buy something you’d never usually wear and mirror-selfie the shit out of yourself. #notbasic #independentwoman #thishoaintyourhonomo
6. Buy new make-up
Drugstore or high-end, it doesn’t matter. Watch tutorials, experiment, whatever; girl, you do you. Take selfies and show the world that you mean business; you are beautiful.
7. Listen to music
Remember those songs you’d keep on repeat because they made your soul just ooze happiness? You know, the ones that gave you goose bumps, made you smile from ear to ear, and act goofy as hell? Listen to them; all of them—as much as you fucking well want to.
8. Do everything you weren’t allowed to do
Just don’t do what I did…I became an Instagram ho for all of like, 2 weeks; I felt so hidden away that I wanted to expose everything but my private parts—to everybody. The compliments came flooding in, but they didn’t make me happy. In fact, it made my self-esteem fall flat on its ugly face. I wasn’t that person, I had more respect for myself than that and before I knew it, I was in Fuckboy Central—again. Thank God for the delete button. So I decided to try something else—socializing…
9. Get a job in retail
The best way to get back out there. These people don’t know you or what you’ve been through and they’ll talk to you like a normal human being. Plus, you get to hear all about their lives, too, which is oddly refreshing.
10. Get a tattoo
Or don’t. They remind me that I’m strong, that I’m alive, and that I’m OK; that I had to take some pain to get to where I am now. Pain is good; it means you’re alive.
11. Accept compliments
It’s hard at first, but just know that the people telling you that you look nice DO mean it—even strangers! I make a conscious effort to make people feel good about themselves every day. It’s needed in this day and age—there’s far too much hate and criticism for my liking; be a person who helps to change the world.
12. Do something life-changing for somebody
Whether you know them or you don’t, it’s empowering and it’s the best feeling in the entire universe. It doesn’t have to be massive, either. I have decided to donate my eggs to somebody who is desperate to have a child. My heart bleeds for those who are unable to bear a child; I know that I would be utterly devastated if I was told I couldn’t conceive. I have my beautiful children and I have faith that I can give another two to a family who are desperate for them. How amazing is that?
So, what is it you’re scared of? Be free. Be happy. And above all else, love yourself.