Confessions Of An International Traveler

  1. I cut in line to get into the Vatican.
  2. I jumped metro turnstiles in Paris.
  3. I snuck into Pompeii without paying.
  4. I overstayed my visa in Ireland and never got caught.
  5. I let some South African guy on a rented moped drive me home in Goa, India even though I didn’t really know him or where I was going.
  6. The first time I got drunk and threw up was the first time I was abroad: I was in Prague, and I was 17. I lied and told the people I was with that I had been drunk before, but I hadn’t and I overdid it. I very clearly remember puking, and thinking to myself, “Well, this is stupid.”
  7. I’ve been to Amsterdam 13 times and still shamefully have never made it to see Anne Frank’s house.
  8. I ate McDonald’s in Singapore.
  9. I left a Greek wedding early. (By early, I mean 2 a.m., but the party didn’t end until 7 a.m.)
  10. I left Australia without ever seeing a kangaroo.
  11. I went horseback ridding in Argentina after staying up drinking about 12 bottles of malbec the night before. I hadn’t yet slept, and I was fast and reckless, and almost clothes-lined myself on a Eucalyptus tree. That’s what a DUI on a horse looks like.
  12. I got kicked out of a hooker bar in Panama because some blond Canadian chick that we met at the hostel tried to get drugs.
  13. The first time I traveled alone I got homesick in the south of Italy, and actually considered leaving one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been to in my life. I remember calling my mom from a train station in Naples and crying after.
  14. I used a shady ATM in Brazil and had $300 stolen from my bank account.
  15. I was too broke/poor to gamble in Monte Carlo or even get into the casino.
  16. I ran through Karlsplatz fountain in Munich at about 5 a.m., and I was late for my flight so I didn’t have time to shower. I spent the whole of my trans-Atlantic Lufthansa flight picking leaves out of my hair and smelling like dirty fountain water. And I was in one of the middle seats of row of four.
  17. I booked tickets for a holiday in Edinburgh for January 1, completely unaware of Hogmanay: one of Europe’s biggest New Years Eve parties. It was like booking a trip to Rio in February and not knowing about Carnival.
  18. I spent a week in Copenhagen for Easter, but flew into Malmö, Sweden because the Easy Jet flight was cheaper. In my early morning haze, I took out money from an ATM in Sweden, and only realized it was the wrong currency when I got to Denmark, and tried to buy a bottle of water that I desperately needed. A stranger — a middle age woman — bought the water for me even though she couldn’t speak a word of English (and I couldn’t speak a word of Danish). I will never forget that.
  19. I went on a yoga retreat in Morocco to detox, but I spent the whole trip smoking British cigarettes with a guy from Manchester.
  20. I accidentally smuggled half a joint on an international flight to Pisa. When I got there, a huge German Shepard jumped all over me and I bent down to play with him because I missed my dog. I only realized what I had done a few days later.
  21. During a layover in the Narita airport in Japan, I spent $70 dollars on a t-shirt for my sister because Lost in Translationjust came out and she was obsessed with it.
  22. But I was so out of it from the flight that I couldn’t figure out the exchange rate in my head.
  23. I cut Milan out of backpacking trip because I had recently watch the Sound of Music and I wanted to go to Salzburg to do the tour. I did it with a bunch of big Australian dudes who gave each other side hugs and sang every word with me. It was awesome.
  24. I once spent a lot of money on a sapphire at a gemstone market in Thailand because some Canadian guy in a tuk tuk told me that it was a good opportunity. I never got it appraised, but I doubt it was worth it.
  25. During a road trip through the South Island of New Zealand, I stopped passing cars to ask them which way to Mordor.
  26. I used my work Blackberry to make calls and use the Internet in South America, the Middle East, and throughout India.
  27. I snowboarded the Canadian Rockies, but because I was still a beginner, I was too scared at the time to go on anything but green trails. I still consider it a wasted opportunity.
  28. I spent the Fourth of July in Austria eating Wiener schnitzel. TC mark
image – ShutterStock

More From Thought Catalog

  • Guest

    You must work really hard at a well-paying  job.

  • Butthead

    Jesus. I bet you’re a riot to share a hostel room with.

  • Haley

    7) You know it wasn’t her house, right?

    • Hooverameliam

      It’s referred to as the Anne Frank Haus even in Amsterdam. She lived there; it was more or less a home. Don’t nitpick.

      • hollandaise

        Haha,nice German-Dutch mixup you did there… happens a lot I suppose! (Haus = German, huis = Dutch). It’s called the Achterhuis in Dutch (the back house), so it’s definitely regarded as the house of Anne Frank over here.

  • Lodoensandra

    Love it. Go to Anne Frank’s House next time, you won’t be sorry. I ate MacDonald’s in Hong Kong so I get it. Don’t buy stuff at Narita, it’s all a ridiculous rip-off. Stay safe and have fun, everywhere!

  • murzipan

    Or at least your dad does.

    • murzipan

      works really hard at a well-paying  job, that is.

  • http://www.facebook.com/neusdadt Arbie Baguios

    If your intention was to get people who haven’t travelled that much (YET) jealous, then congratulations. It did nothing else. But your trips sound awesome.

  • beekers03

    “I left Australia without ever seeing a kangaroo.”

    Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

    • womp

      must’ve never left the city; you have to try to NOT see them over there.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=41508118 Caity Sherlock

    how the fuck did you afford all of these trips, and how old are you?

  • Violetbleediotie

    Humblebraggin’ it up

  • Andrew Rowland

    #10 is unforgiveable. Screw everything else.

    #10. Unforgiveable.

  • mani

    This should be renamed ‘Confessions of a Wealthy International Traveler’

  • http://www.facebook.com/vdsawyer Victor Darnell Sawyer

    Just became so frustrated far too early on a Wednesday thanks to this article.  Glad you had fun all around the world though. 

  • Shinejan21

    After reading half way, I clicked your name to check your picture. You look young. You must have a great job or you’re very hardworking. Either way, respect!

    • jess

      or have generous parents

      • dLe

        or she’s lying to make for more creative content

    • Guest

      i think they may just have rich parents…

  • Beea_73

    lots of haters in the comment section haaahhahaha

  • Meh

    how is this cataloged under “Humor?” it’s so alienating.
     

  • Goosey

    Your life sounds awesome.

  • Nishant

    Okay, not trying to hate. Just VERY curious, how did you afford this much travel?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=919377 Nicole Trilivas

      Thanks for reading! A few ways… (sorry, another list!)

      I was lucky enough to have parents who live right outside a major city where my job was, so even though I could technically afford to move out, I lived at home saving for nearly 4 yrs. saving. Uncool? Very. Worth it? For sure.

      I also got my job to let me work remotely for them for a few months as I was working on my first novel (win!). This only worked short-term though. I would love to have the kind of job that would let me work from anywhere ALL THE TIME!

      Also, Backpacking can be v. cheap! Esp. in Asia and S. America. As long as you’re cool with hostels and budgets, the plane tickets will be the biggest expense. I’ve met people who traveled around the world for a year on less than what rent costs in most American cities.

      There’s a great Anthony Bourdain quote that goes: If you’re twenty-two, physically fit, hungry to learn and be better, I urge you to travel— as far and as widely as possible. Sleep on floors if you have to. Find out how other people live and eat and cook. Learn from them— wherever you go.”

      There’s always a way! Good luck and happy & safe travels for all!
       

      • Nishant

        That’s a beautiful quote. And great to hear from you! Very inspiring, indeed!

  • http://twitter.com/sugarashley Sugar Ashley J

    awesome list!! made me think of all the crazy thing i did backpacking europe n asia :) perhaps i should make me a list too…

  • http://twitter.com/_navD Navjot Dhillon

    Very hard to find good read on Thought Catalog these days.

  • //////

    I wanted to like this, but it would have been so much better if you just took one of these, or a few, and expanded on it. The list form just doesn’t work. 

  • http://twitter.com/meganmvo Megan Vo

    “I ate McDonald’s in Singapore.”
    Hope you doused those fries in chili sauce!

  • Jill

    Some of these are funny/good stories but some are just stupid. This seems more like a list to put in a diary than an article to make public.

  • dian0saur

    number 11: ”
    I went horseback ridding in Argentina after staying up drinking about 12 bottles of malbec the night before. ”

    oh, you went ridding? i thought riding was the thing people do on horses; must be different in Argentina – if you ever even went there! this list is not funny, and doesn’t seem the least bit realistic. Has anyone ever seen the movie, Taken? You’re getting wasted at 17 with randoms, and taking rides on the back of strangers’ mopeds – which number do you get kidnapped and sold into sex slavery? 

    step it up, thoughtcatalog.

    • http://twitter.com/sunnysarah20 Sarah Knutson

       You’ve clearly missed the entire point of this post.

  • Hry

    This is probably the most self-congratulatory article I’ve ever read on this site…. doesn’ really have anything worthwhile to say, nor anything particularly emotive/funny.

    Also, why so few articles the past few days?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1363230138 Michael Koh

    #humblebrag #amirite

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