Do These 7 Things While Dating To Avoid The Assholes And Be Closer To Finding Your Forever Person

couple embracing in field
John Schnobrich

1. Believe his actions.

The things he does are more important than the words he says. He can tell you you’re the most wonderful woman he’s ever met, but if his actions don’t align with that, if his actions tell you he really doesn’t care about you, then believe them.

2. Stop making excuses for him.

When he disappears for a whole two weeks and texts you out of nowhere to get dinner within the next few hours, don’t think up reasons that justify his rude behavior. It doesn’t matter if ‘things at work got crazy,’ or he ‘had to handle issues with his ex,’ the fact is that two weeks went by and he didn’t bother to ask how you were or to even think of you. You don’t need to make excuses for someone who treats you poorly. You need to tell them goodbye.

3. Demand honesty.

When you have no idea how he feels about you because he is super unclear about basically everything to do with your relationship, just ask him. You don’t need to try and decode his mixed messages or even put up with them. If you’re not sure how he feels about you, it means he’s either too scared or too immature to show you. You should be with someone who makes you certain that they’re interested, not someone who makes you question it.

4. Don’t expect anything from him if he constantly lets you down, and don’t expect him to change.

When he makes plans with you and cancels last minute, when he drops off the face of the earth for weeks at a time, when he takes the entire night to answer you with just one word, don’t expect him to suddenly pick up his act and be different. When he disappoints you over and over again, don’t get your hopes up and think he’ll eventually change. Don’t date someone to change them.

5. Stop thinking you’re the reason he’s being an asshole.

You’re not the reason he’s a constant disappointment. His inability to treat you the way you deserve to be treated is the reason he’s disappointing you. Don’t think that if you were to do something differently or say something differently that he would suddenly come around and show you the love that you deserve. You don’t have to feel bad about yourself when someone treats you poorly. You deserve love, he’s just not the person who’s going to give it to you.

6. Don’t settle.

Stop dating people who you know are blatantly bad for you. If they make you question whether you’re hot enough, smart enough or fun enough, they’re clearly not helping your self-esteem. The type of person you date reflects how you feel about yourself. When you date someone who treats you like shit, you’re basically saying you deserve to be treated like shit, and you don’t. So don’t date them.

7. Don’t be afraid to be alone.

Sometimes you need to be on your own to figure yourself out, and sometimes that means taking a break from dating altogether. You learn a lot about yourself when you’re single. It’s really not as scary as you think it is, and it’s certainly better than dating an asshole. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Writer based in the Philadelphia area. Person who really loves her dog and watching cooking shows. Check out my writing on Thought Catalog and follow me on Facebook! Connect with me and submit your work on Collective World.

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