I’m not able to silence that voice inside my head telling me I can’t do it. I can’t force her to leave and lock the door behind her so she can never come back in. I can’t defeat my own self-doubt, but I’m not going to let her defeat me.
I might not be able to shut that voice up, to ignore her, to pretend like she’s not there when she’s really shouting, screaming at the top of her lungs that I’m not good enough, not smart enough or talented enough, generally insufficient in every way.
I can’t say that I can make my self-doubt disappear, but I can work around her. I can hear that voice, the one that tells me failure is something to be afraid of and I can acknowledge that she’s there, that she exists and most likely has no intention of leaving. That she’s going to stick around and taunt me and make me feel inferior. I can accept all of these things and I can find a way to overcome them.
I can plan around the worst-case scenario that she’s telling me will happen. I can acknowledge that yes, the worst thing imaginable could potentially occur, that I’ll say the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time, that I’ll commit to something that wasn’t worth committing to, but that I’ll dodge the obstacle. That yes, she will get in my way, but she won’t stop me from moving forward.
My self doubt is the fork in the road that inevitably shows up, but I’m strong enough to just choose a prong and keep going.
I’m not going to let self-doubt completely derail me. I’m not going to let her stop me from going after what I want when I want it. I’m not going to let her delay my plans, make me say ‘maybe tomorrow I’ll try,’ instead of just trying right now, today. I’m not going to let her convince me that I’m not good enough. I’m going to hear her say all of these things, but I’m not going to listen, I’m not going to believe them. I’ll hear the fears she whispers, and I won’t give in to them. I won’t let self-doubt scare me.
I know I can’t defeat self-doubt. I know it will be the voice inside my head that unfortunately never leaves, but I’m not going to let that stop me from living. I’m going to push my boundaries and learn as much as I can about the world and about myself along the way, and I’m going to tell self-doubt that she can’t stop me, that if she wants to completely defeat me and my life, she’s going to have try a little harder.