A Reminder To All Men: Only Boys Play Games When It Comes To Love

man looks through his glasses with confidence
God & Man

A boy sends a text at midnight when he’s lonely asking what she’s doing, if she’s still awake, and whether or not she wants to ‘chill.’ He calls when she doesn’t respond and he leaves a voicemail when she doesn’t pick up, slurring his drunken banter into the phone, he tells her how he wishes she was there that night, how he misses her and how cold she must be sleeping alone. He calls again hoping maybe this time she’ll answer, maybe she’ll let him sleep next to her, spend the night and leave before she wakes up.

This boy goes home alone. He wakes up alone. He remembers calling her, leaving her a message, and while he doesn’t remember exactly what he said, his body feels full of regret. But no matter how full of regret his body may be, he won’t apologize the next day, and he won’t reach out either.

Because he knows he was too stupid to just invite her that night from the very beginning, to ask her if she’d like to come along simply because he wanted her to, because he would have a better time if she were there. He knows he tried to play it cool, tried to be unattached and distant so that she’d want him even more, and he won’t admit how bad it felt when she didn’t.

A boy pretends like he’s not interested, and only shows that he is when he’s drunk, when he’s walking home at 2 am and wants someone to share a bed with. A boy is too scared to admit he actually likes you because he doesn’t want you to think he really likes you. He thinks you’ll want him more when he acts like he wants you less.

A boy doesn’t know how to show love in a way that’s real.

A boy plays games when it comes to love; a real man doesn’t.

A real man shows interest when it’s there. He asks her to come along before the night begins because he wants her to be there when the night is happening, not just after it’s over. 

A real man doesn’t have to drink to admit that he’s amazed by you, that your beauty literally hypnotizes him and that your laugh makes all his worries drift away. He doesn’t have to be intoxicated to admit that he’s attracted to every part of you and that when you’re around he instantly feels better.

A real man understands that consistency matters, that you don’t just want someone who says they’re going to be there and then isn’t. He knows that his words aren’t meaningful until they’re backed up by his actions. A real man recognizes that love takes more than empty promises, that you shouldn’t say you’re going to show up unless you actually plan on doing it.

A real man doesn’t make you feel like you’re not enough, or too much, or anything but the right amount. He doesn’t make you feel like he wishes you were more of this and less of that. He loves every little damn thing about you, and he doesn’t make you feel like you have to change or even that you have to stay this way forever. He wants to grow with you, change with you, be with you and love you through it all.

He makes you feel completely worthy of love because he shows you that you are every single day. He loves you like you deserve it, and he wouldn’t know how to love you any other way. That is how a real man loves. TC mark

Nicole Tarkoff

Writer based in the Philadelphia area. Person who really loves her dog and watching cooking shows. Check out my writing on Thought Catalog and follow me on Facebook! Connect with me and submit your work on Collective World.

This is me letting you go

If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for.

At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.

We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we’re capable of living, even if that means that we have to be alone for a very long time.

“Everyone could use a book like this at some point in their life.” – Heather

Let go now

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