9 Things Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Realize You’re Doing Because You’re Insecure

moody couple holding hands
Brooke Cagle

1. Questioning who he’s texting.

You shouldn’t have to question if he’s texting another girl or worry that he’s having an emotional (or physical) affair. You should trust that the only person he wants to be with is you, and his behavior should demonstrate that. It’s understandable to be distrusting when his behavior warrants it, but if he’s done nothing but proven his faithfulness and commitment, your distrust might be stemming from your own insecurities.

2. Questioning why he liked that photo on social media.

If you’re fully confident in your relationship you don’t worry about what the other is doing on social media. You don’t care who they’re following, what photos they’re liking, and you definitely don’t worry about who they’re DMing. When you’re confident in your relationship, you feel secure enough to understand that no matter who they’re following on social media, they’ve decided to be with you in real life.

3. Wondering if he wishes you looked more like someone else.

If he truly loves you, he loves everything about you, and your appearance is only part of that. I think it’s a little naive to say appearance doesn’t matter at all; I think appearance fools you into thinking there’s an instant connection or *chemistry*, but appearance isn’t what keeps love around, it’s not what keeps it going, or thriving. If you’re wondering whether he wishes you looked more like someone else, it’s most likely because you wish you looked more like someone else. If he truly loves you, he’ll love you whether your appearance changes or not. If he loved you with long wavy hair, he should love you with short straight hair. He should like your appearance, but he should like it in all ways because at the end of the day what’s underneath your outer shell is who you truly are.

4. Wondering if he wishes you acted more like someone else.

See above. If you’re wondering whether or not he wishes you were more like someone else in any way, whether it’s looks or personality, it’s most likely because of your own insecurities. If he wanted you to be more like someone else, he’d go be with someone else. He’s still with you, and there’s a reason.

5. Having emotional outbursts.

When you’re insecure about your relationship it’s hard to openly talk about it, especially to your partner. When you keep all of those feelings in, they’re just waiting to be released, and if you keep them bottled up long enough, they’ll explode. You’ll look *crazy* when it happens and you most likely won’t acknowledge the real source of where those emotions are coming from. Be honest with yourself and your partner. Communicate what you’re feeling, even if it is insecurity. Real love works through those issues, it doesn’t just give up when they happen.

6. Thinking that length of time the two of you are together, corresponds to how much (or how little) he loves you.

Just because you’ve been together forever, doesn’t mean he loves you any less. When love is real it often gets stronger as time goes on. It’s okay to be afraid of things getting boring, but the truth is, things inevitably will. The excitement might not be there like it was in the beginning, but the love will be. Your relationship won’t always be exciting, but it will always be full of love.

7. Refuting his compliments.

Some people aren’t as skilled at accepting compliments as others, some people are whole-heartedly terrible at it. Whether you roll your eyes when he says you’re beautiful, or whether you laugh when he tells you that dress looks sexy, refuting his compliments just means you’re uncomfortable when he says them, and it might be because you don’t believe his flattery. Next time he compliments you, try believing him. He says nice things to you to make you feel good, not to make you feel insecure or uncomfortable.

8. Wondering if he enjoys having sex with you. And not wanting to have as much sex because you’re scared he doesn’t.

Sex is important to any relationship. It can either make your relationship stronger, or completely tear it apart. Sex should be fun, it should be intimate and vulnerable, it should be experimental, it should be whatever you want it to be, and you both should be getting what you need from it. Sometimes intimacy is hard to talk about, but you’re never going to get what you want from sex or your partner if you don’t ask for it. If you’re worried he doesn’t enjoy having sex with you, just talk about it.

9. Not believing he truly loves you.

I’ve found that love is the hardest to accept when we don’t believe that we deserve it. Maybe you don’t believe that he truly loves you because you think you don’t deserve love at all. You do deserve love, remember that. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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