7 Uncomfortable Signs You’re Dating The Person You’re Supposed To Be With

God & Man

1. You’re scared of your feelings for them.

When your feelings for this person are so strong that you’re actually afraid of them (the feelings not the person), you’re most likely just scared of them leaving and your ability (or inability) to pick up the pieces of what they’ve left behind. It’s okay to be afraid of someone leaving, especially if you’ve been left and heartbroken before, but the person you’re supposed to be with will calm your fears, not heighten them. Feelings are scary. Love is scary. The person you’re supposed to be with, will make you less afraid.

2. They make you realize the things in your life you need to work on.

You’re terrible at expressing your feelings, you have trouble when it comes to honest communication, you avoid confrontation at all costs and forget about your well-being while doing so, whatever your thing is that you know needs a bit of work, the person you’re supposed to be with will make you face it head-on. They’ll help you face it, and they’ll make you stronger at the end of it. You’ll grow.

3. You’re terrified of things becoming boring or routine.

When you’re with someone for so long, sometimes the pressure of keeping things interesting can get to you. When you’re afraid your relationship will lose its spark, it’s because it probably already has, and that’s completely normal. The initial spark you feel in the beginning doesn’t necessarily go away, it just changes. You’re not going to feel nervous every time you see them after 2 years. You’re going to be very used to their presence, but just because you don’t get butterflies when they walk in the room, doesn’t mean the spark has died. The spark is there in the little moments, the weird moments, the moments that make each of you who you are when you’re together. The spark still exists, just not the way it did when you first started dating.

4. They make you realize the people in your life who don’t truly matter.

They make you realize who the people are in your life who probably don’t care about you as much as you care about them. They’re honest when it comes to the love and energy you give to people who seriously just don’t deserve it. They don’t like seeing you being taken advantage of, and they’ll let you know when they think it’s happening, and with who. They want the best for you, and that means surrounding yourself with positive people, even if it entails saying goodbye to the negative ones.

5. They make you realize your insecurities.

When you’re with the person you’re supposed to be with, they’ll make you aware of insecurities you’re reluctant to admit you have. They don’t call attention to them, or make you feel embarrassed about them, but they comfort you on having them. The person you’re supposed to be with will realize that you’re not perfect, that you have things you’re insecure about for reasons that might not make sense to them, but they don’t fault you for it. They don’t make you feel bad for being occasionally insecure, they respect that you’re human, and they let you know that your insecurities don’t, and never will, prevent them from loving you.

6. You have bad days.

Or nights. Whether he comes home from work and your argument about him not emptying the dishwasher somehow turns into you crying that you feel like you’re forgetting a part of who you are, arguments and bad days have a weird tendency to make your relationship stronger, as long as you both are willing to work through them…together. Every day can’t be smiles, laughter and joy, there will be arguments. There will be emotional outbreaks and disagreements, especially when you’ve been together for a long time, but when you can talk about why you’re feeling the things you’re feeling, and can support each other rather than judge or assume, you’re with someone who truly cares about you, and wants to be with you.

7. You don’t obsess about the future.

It’s good to talk about the future of your relationship. It’s nice to know that you each would like to be together for an extended period of time rather than a few months or less, but don’t let comfort become an obsession. No one thoroughly enjoys uncertainty when it comes to their ‘life plan,‘ but obsessing about whether or not he’s going to propose at the 3 year mark is not as important as whether or not you feel fulfilled in your relationship. Don’t worry about timelines and benchmark dates, focus on each other. Are you happy? Are they? Worry about your relationship’s well-being, not it’s marital status and when it’ll happen. If you both realize that what’s most important is each other, and this insanely special thing the two of you have that makes your relationship just work, you’re dating the person you’re supposed to be with. TC mark

Nicole Tarkoff

Writer based in the Philadelphia area. Person who really loves her dog and watching cooking shows. Check out my writing on Thought Catalog and follow me on Facebook! Connect with me and submit your work on Collective World.

This is me letting you go

If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for.

At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.

We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we’re capable of living, even if that means that we have to be alone for a very long time.

“Everyone could use a book like this at some point in their life.” – Heather

Let go now

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