This Is How You Love After Heartbreak

God & Man

You feel like your heart has been broken one too many times. You feel like you give, and give, and give your love away as if you have an infinite supply of it. And this seemingly infinite supply only runs out until after someone leaves. Because after they leave they take your love with them. And you feel you’ve been robbed of every bit of love you have left to give, but you’re wrong.

You do have love left to give, tons of it. And no one has the power to prevent you from giving love again. Because your heart is resilient and so is your love, and both of them together are stronger than you know.

Your broken heart is not a mark of failure, it’s a mark of courage. It’s that scar that reminds you of the pain, but also reminds you of how you survived, of how you were brave enough to put yourself in the path of destruction, and somehow make it through.

Because it takes a whole lot of bravery to give your heart to someone who may or may not deserve it, and it takes even more to do it all over again after being broken once or twice before. Heartbreak is bravery, not failure.

And now that your heart is broken once more, and this person has left you feeling like you’ll never love again, that bravery will hide, and it will hide away for what feels like forever. And I know you don’t want to hear that it will take time before you find your heart’s bravery again, but it’s because fear and sadness are temporarily taking its place.

Because you will feel sad. And you will feel scared that everyone will hurt you the way you’ve been hurt before, and that’s okay. Feel sad. Feel scared. Feel lonely. Take your time to realize that the bravery it took for you to love again the first time, didn’t go anywhere. It doesn’t disappear with every heartbreak you endure, if anything it thrives.

Because your heart becomes braver every time you persist to love again, but it also becomes more careful.

After each heartbreak you love with this weird combination of strength and caution that you think will protect you from feeling the same pain that the last person left you with, but caution won’t save you from heartbreak, and bravery won’t either. Sadly, they make it possible for your heart to be broken again.

And that’s just it, I can’t promise you that this heartbreak will be your last. The only way you can really save yourself from heartbreak is if you refuse to let people love you, if you refuse to love them in return, and there’s nothing courageous about that.

Don’t let this heartbreak convince you you’ll never love again. Don’t let it scare you into ever trying. Don’t let it define or defeat you. Don’t let it make you forget how brave you truly are.

Yes, heartbreak sucks. It’s a confusing cycle of painful feelings and it usually begins with sadness, but the moment you choose to love again, it begins with strength. You’re strong for loving after heartbreak, even if you have to love carefully. You will love again. TC mark

Nicole Tarkoff

Writer based in the Philadelphia area. Person who really loves her dog and watching cooking shows. Check out my writing on Thought Catalog and follow me on Facebook! Connect with me and submit your work on Collective World.

This is me letting you go

If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for.

At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.

We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we’re capable of living, even if that means that we have to be alone for a very long time.

“Everyone could use a book like this at some point in their life.” – Heather

Let go now

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