Do you ever think that we were meant to meet? Because the day we met my life strayed from its normal course, and back then it was just me trying to do something different, venture outside of the lines that connect the thing I like to call my ‘comfort zone.’
You were my ‘Why not?’ And why not was the question I asked myself after every other heart break, because I thought there was no answer that could make me feel any worse, and often it led me to every answer that did.
Why not give the guy who clearly doesn’t deserve me a chance? Why not put myself out there for others to critique, whisper, gossip, judge? Why not partake in unhealthy things I think will make me feel better? Every why not I asked myself was just an excuse to create more damage…until I met you. Because you were the only ‘Why not?’ that added joy to my life rather than obstruction. You were different.
And I hate to think of people as exceptions, because they stem from generalizations and assumptions, but you’re more of a mystery than an exception. Because I often find myself trying to think of what my life would be like had I never met you, and I can’t because I don’t want to. And that’s how you’re different.
Because every other time I’ve wondered about life and what it would be like without someone, it’s always been because I want to imagine that life. Because it was a person I wish I had never met, a person who I regret giving my heart to. And I know they say that the people we make mistakes with in love teach us something about ourselves, and I believe that, but it doesn’t stop you from wishing away the hurt that they caused, the scars that they created, and the regret that eats away at whatever’s left of you.
But see, you are the rarity that makes my wonder full of hope rather than regret. You make me wonder in ways that make me believe in things like fate. You make me believe that we were meant to meet, because the way you make me feel is better than the happiness I felt when you weren’t in my life, better than the happiness I felt when I was alone. And I think I was happy before I met you, or at least I hope I was, but after I met you the happiness I thought was already full, felt fuller, and I realize now, it was you that I was missing.
And I don’t know if fate is something that serves as comfort, and something that lets us become more trusting of the world we live in, or whether it’s my lack of willingness to accept responsibility for things that happen to me and those around me, but I do like to think that I was meant to meet you. That we were meant to meet each other.
And to some that may sound unrealistic, or stupid, but I guess I just don’t care. Because I believe in us, and I believe that you have a purpose in my life, even if it is just to make me happy at this temporary moment. And I know that I’ll remember the day I met you for the rest of my life, and I’ll think back on it and I’ll smile. And when I ask myself what would’ve happened had I never met you, I’ll still refuse to imagine the answer. We were meant to change each other’s lives in all the ways we already have and all the ways we will continue to. We were meant to meet because this love was meant for us.