7 Reasons You Should Never Change Who You Are To Find Love (Especially If You’re Weird)


1. Your weirdness is the one thing that separates you from every other ‘normal’ person.

Why be everyone else when you can be yourself? A) It’s a lot easier, and B) pretending to be someone you’re not gets pretty exhausting. People only deem your little quirks weird or eccentric because they’re different from what they’re used to, but a little quirky surprise is what makes life more fun, and the person who truly loves you will know this.

2. Someone who loves the weirdest parts of you is someone who ACTUALLY loves you.

The way you get really excited over things that aren’t really that exciting, the fact that you find a rock and save it from everywhere you travel, or your undying obsession with Hufflepuff, someone who loves you, loves all of you, especially your weird parts.

3. The things that make you different from someone you’re dating, help you (and them) branch out.

If you and your partner had all of the same interests and hobbies, you’d have a really boring relationship. Even differences in your personality are a good thing. Your love for things they have no understanding of, makes them want to understand. Your interests aren’t weird, they’re different, and they’ll allow whoever decides to love you expand in ways they never thought possible.

4. Trying to impress people often has the opposite effect.

The things you think will impress someone, often don’t, and you shouldn’t have to impress someone to make them love you. Be yourself, because there’s nothing more impressive than authenticity.

5. Whatever makes you weird often makes you talented (or just gives you a fun hobby).

People like talent. People also like passion. If there’s something ‘weird’ you’re passionate about the person who loves you will love seeing you knee-deep in the midst of it. Whatever makes you different, embrace it, and follow it, because when you can finally learn to accept this part of who you are, you can finally begin to allow others to see it. And someone will appreciate it; someone will appreciate you.

6. Whatever makes you weird also makes you interesting.

Love is anything but normal. It’s inspiring and it’s beautiful, and it’s also frustratingly impossible, which is exactly why you can’t change yourself to find it. When you’ve failed miserably (and repetitively) at ‘finding love,’ it’s not your flaws or quirks you need to change. These are the things that make you interesting. These are the things that make love so strangely fascinating when you finally come across it. Because the things about yourself you thought no one would ever enjoy, are the things that make love happen.

7. If you have to hide a facet of who you are, it’s not love.

Love often entails the fear of revealing certain parts of yourself, and then doing it anyway. That’s what love does, it enables us to show someone who we really are. And if you can’t, it’s not love. Because if you don’t feel comfortable enough to be yourself, it’s not just your inability to be open and vulnerable, it’s partly their inability to make you feel safe enough to do so. Love isn’t about hiding; it’s about discovery. It’s about finding and exploring every facet of your beautiful mind and sharing it with someone who is just as eager to discover even more of it. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Writer based in the Philadelphia area. Person who really loves her dog and watching cooking shows. Check out my writing on Thought Catalog and follow me on Facebook! Connect with me and submit your work on Collective World.

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