7 Reasons She’s Scared To Open Up To You, And How To Earn Her Trust So That She Will

Danielle Drislane
Danielle Drislane

1. She’s scared of pushing you away.

She wish you could hear the thoughts in her head that she’s afraid to say aloud, like how she loves you so much it scares her, and how she feels like her life might fall apart without you, but you can’t hear what’s going on inside her head, you can only see what’s going on outside of it. It’s impossible to know that when she grabs your hand after you kiss her cheek she’s saying ‘You’re incredible,’ just like it’s impossible to know whether or not she’ll say ‘I love you’ in return, but know that she’s hesitant because she doesn’t want her feelings to scare you as much as they scare her.

2. Her ex broke her heart.

The last time she let her guard down, she was let down in return. Her ex tried relentlessly to open her up, and whether she failed to or finally let him in, the relationship didn’t turn out the way she thought it would. It doesn’t matter who hurt who or why, what matters is that it’s over, and in the past, and she’s with you because she’s ready to move on and already has. Now you need to be open with her, communicate with honesty, say how you really feel. If you can be honest with her, it will make her feel comfortable enough to be honest with you. If she feels like you have your guard up, she’ll build her guard even higher.

3. She thinks the skeletons in her closet are too much for you to handle.

There may be a specific reason she’s not opening up, something from her past, a scar she doesn’t want you to see because she thinks you’ll look at her like she’s damaged. If you love her you won’t judge her by the person she was, you’ll see her for the person she now is, and you’ll do everything you can to help her become the person she hopes to be. Show her that the past doesn’t scare you, that whatever happened in her life before is different now that she has you.

4. She cares about you so much it scares her.

Her closed off tendencies aren’t any indication that she doesn’t care about you, they’re indication that she’s scared she cares about you too much. Questioning what your life would be like without someone, and not being able to imagine the answer is terrifying. This is what she experiences when she tries to imagine her life without you. Don’t let her imagination drift like that. Insure her that you’re not going anywhere. Let her know that you appreciate how much she cares about you, let her know that her caring, her feeling, is not something to be afraid of, but something to share because if you feel that deeply about her in return, you’re probably just as terrified.

5. She’s given her heart to all the wrong people.

Maybe she isn’t opening up to you because she has opened up to too many people who didn’t appreciate it. They aren’t necessarily people who have done her wrong, but they are people who haven’t cared about her in the way she wanted them to. She was so eager to give her heart to someone, she gave it to almost anyone, and this doesn’t make her desperate or hopeless, it makes her hopeful. She gave her heart away so easily before, because she hoped that each person she gave it to would feel something in return. And now that her love has been refuted one too many times, she thinks the one person who’s not only willing to accept it, but return her love, will refute it again like all of the rest. Demonstrate that her love is not something to refute, but something to cherish.

6. Sometimes she thinks she doesn’t deserve you.

She’s guarded because her deepest fear is that she doesn’t deserve the one person who’s willing to show her the kind of love that makes her happy, the kind of love that makes her wonder what she did to deserve someone like you. But you feel the same way about her, and you both need to realize that the beautiful thing about love is how lucky you feel to have found this person. Don’t wonder what you did to deserve them, think about how lucky you feel that you chose each other.

7. She’s scared that the happiness she feels with you is only temporary.

She fears that the moment she’s truly happy is the moment that all of her happiness will disappear. She has to learn that the euphoria she feels with you is partly because you make her happy with herself. When you’re with her, really be with her, and allow the happiness she feels in each moment with you to eliminate her worry of the future. Because while you can’t guarantee the happiness you experience together will be everlasting, you can appreciate every moment you feel that it will be. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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