8 Great Things About An Eternally Single Mindset That Actually Prepare You For A Real Relationship

Folur's photography
Folur’s photography

1. You’re not controlling.

You’ve never had a serious relationship so you certainly don’t know how to control one. You tend to take the back seat rather than the driver’s. It’s not that you let your partner walk all over you, but you also don’t tell them what they can and cannot do, which isn’t a bad thing. Your eternally single mindset allows you to let the relationship happen naturally; you’re used to being single, so you don’t feel the necessity to constantly control what your partner does.

2. You don’t mind a little space.

When you go from spending Friday nights with your dog, to spending Friday nights with bae, you have a bit of a lifestyle adjustment to become accustomed to. You enjoy time with your partner, but you also enjoy some time to yourself and the friends you had before you were in the relationship. It’s not terrible if you and your partner have your own lives, it’s terrible if you refuse to share them.

3. You have a ‘nothing to lose’ attitude.

You have been on your own for quite some time, and whether or not you’ve dated numerous assholes, you’re not afraid to be alone again. You approach the relationship as if you have nothing to lose. If you’re mistreated, you’re not afraid to leave, and if you couldn’t be happier, you’re more than willing to stay.

4. You’re willing to try new things.

This doesn’t necessarily mean sexually, you’re open to try new things in all aspects of the relationship. Committing to one person is not your usual routine, so if you’re willing to do that, then you may as well give everything else a try. Picnics in the park, double dates, instagram captions with hearts and kissy faces, you thought you’d never be so cheesy, but when you finally have a relationship you start to think, why not? You won’t know if you don’t like something until you try it.

5. You have little to no expectations.

You’re not exactly sure what a real relationship looks like, because you’ve essentially been single forever, but when it comes to expectations, it’s not a matter of them being set too high, it’s a matter of not knowing what to expect at all. Arguments, holidays, meeting the family, it’s all part of the ride, and you’re just trying to not fall out of your seat.

6. You’re not needy.

You will never say the words, ‘You don’t text me enough’ or ‘Why don’t you post any pictures of me?’ or anything along the lines of ‘Please just love me.’ You don’t need your partner, you want them. There’s a difference.

7. You don’t rush things.

Nothing will ever feel like it is happening ‘too soon’ because you won’t let it. You’re in no rush to say ‘I love you,’ or move in together, or any other stereotypical relationship benchmarks that other people make you feel like you have to meet at a certain time. You allow the events in your relationship to happen as they happen. You don’t consume yourself with ‘when,’ but you focus on ‘how.’

8. You remember to maintain your own happiness.

You don’t lose sight of what’s most important, and sometimes that’s yourself. Everyone knows what it feels like to be unhappy, and if you feel that way in your relationship, you’re not afraid to realize it. If your partner can’t make you happy, maybe you need to make yourself happy first, and your eternally single mindset sometimes allows you to see that. TC mark

Nicole Tarkoff

Writer based in the Philadelphia area. Person who really loves her dog and watching cooking shows. Check out my writing on Thought Catalog and follow me on Facebook! Connect with me and submit your work on Collective World.

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